Baptist News Global
Sections
  • News
  • Analysis
  • Opinion
  • Curated
  • Storytelling
    • Faith & Justice >
      • Charleston: Metanoia with Bill Stanfield
      • Charlotte: QC Family Tree with Greg and Helms Jarrell
      • Little Rock: Judge Wendell Griffen
      • North Carolina: Conetoe
    • Welcoming the Stranger >
      • Lost Boys of Sudan: St. John’s Baptist Charlotte
      • Awakening to Immigrant Justice: Myers Park Baptist Church
      • Hospitality on the corner: Gaston Christian Center
    • Signature Ministries >
      • Jake Hall: Gospel Gothic, Music and Radio
    • Singing Our Faith >
      • Hymns for a Lifetime: Ken Wilson and Knollwood Baptist Church
      • Norfolk Street Choir
    • Resilient Rural America >
      • Alabama: Perry County
      • Texas: Hidalgo County
      • Arkansas Delta
      • Southeast Kentucky
  • More
    • Contact
    • About
    • Donate
    • Associated Baptist Press Foundation
    • Planned Giving
    • Letters to the Editor
    • Advertising
    • Ministry Jobs and More
    • Transitions
    • Subscribe
    • Submissions and Permissions
Donate Subscribe
Search Search this site

Listen to the teenagers: Things are not right

OpinionEric Minton  |  July 21, 2020

I work in public education, but I’m not a teacher, administrator, custodian, social worker or a member of the cafeteria staff. I’m something far stranger, or, according to at least one student I met during the course of my work at his school, “someone who looks like a real jackass wandering around in skinny pants all day.”

Eric MintonI’m a licensed psychotherapist providing school-based individual and family therapy in an underfunded high school in East Tennessee. My work is made possible through a joint partnership with our school system and an area community mental health agency. I’m also the parent of an upcoming kindergartener.

The thing I love most about my work with teenagers, especially ones regularly referred to as “emotionally disturbed,” “problems” or “you know, one of those kids,” is that they have this way of colorfully laying bare the aspirations, fears, values and stinging contradictions of whatever system in which they find themselves attempting to survive.

This is why some of the early fathers and mothers of the systems-driven family therapy movement began treating everything interrupting typical adolescent development — from schizophrenia to eating disorders — as less the result of individual pathology and more the guttural cries of an entire family or community in pain. According to these early psychotherapists, the “problem kids” aren’t broken or crazy, they are instead the only ones actually telling the truth about what runs the world.

“The pandemic has apocalyptically uncovered the raw nerve of the collective pain we regularly live with as Americans.”

It just happens that their truth is uncomfortably, profanely sharp, as it has not had time to become regularly blunted by an adulthood spent glazing over in front of home renovation shows, or transformed into a more well-practiced and socially acceptable self-effacement learned over years of making polite dinner conversation with strangers.

The pandemic has apocalyptically uncovered the raw nerve of the collective pain we regularly live with as Americans. And it has violently revealed the ways in which citizens in this country are expected to internalize and subsequently take responsibility for the toxic stress of our societal abandonment. In America, even our pain itself has been privatized.

What we do with and for our kids is often the clearest explication of what we actually believe about the world.

Lately, in my industry at least, this looks like teachers (or the ones privileged enough to still choose) weighing whether or not to leave the profession or expose themselves or vulnerable loved ones to an early grave in order to provide a poorly funded public service to families and children they love. It looks like parents (or the ones privileged enough to still choose) weighing their abilities to provide virtual home school opportunities for their children while also working, or exposing their children, teachers, themselves, family members and the community at large to COVID-19. Additionally, the bifurcation of our choices about staying home or going back to school fail to account for the underlying reality awaiting our students were they all to return to an academic environment my friend Jim refers to as “Chernobyl-light.”

“For parents, educators and school support personnel there are no ‘good’ or ‘right’ choices any more.”

For parents, educators and school support personnel there are no “good” or “right” choices any more — those evaporated in the June heat of the Trump administration’s waning commitment to public health. There is only the uniquely internalized, private pain of realizing that as an American parent and educator you are on your own.

These (lack-of) choices remind me of the “parentification” I see constantly in my work with students at the high school. Parentification describes what happens when children struggle to bear the inappropriate weight and internalized responsibility of their abandonment at the hands of adults who are ultimately responsible for their care.

We have, all of us, been parentified by a system that has abandoned us and refuses to care for us.

Which is why — now, more than ever — we need the unbridled voices of our teenagers. Because they, uniquely, still retain a furious belief in a world whose awfulness isn’t briefly interrupted by commercial breaks for a pill that reduces the unwanted side effects of our anti-depressants. Teenagers are, as one colleague put it to me early in my therapeutic career, symptoms incarnate, they are our pain made flesh.

One of these incarnate symptoms we’ll call “Henry” recently asked me if it’s still called depression whenever he gets “so tired of thinking about how I make more per hour at my fast food job than my 45-year-old dad does at his fast food job, that I just want to scream and cry in bed all day?”

I imagine underneath the surface of his original question there are a few more waiting to be asked. Like whether or not it’s still called “depression” whenever the complexity and inescapable ubiquity of an economic system that prizes scarcity, competition and anxious accumulation at all costs becomes unbearable for those of us charged with holding it up. Or if it’s still called “anxiety” whenever we come face to face with the realization that there is no longer a social contract between any of us. That we, uniquely on Earth as Americans, refuse to belong to one another as a point of national pride and economic policy. Or, finally, is it actually a mental health problem at all that living in America leaves most of us lying helplessly on the couch, staring at our phones at the end of the day much like psychologist Martin Seligman’s haphazardly electrocuted dogs in his famous study on learned helplessness?

Currently, I don’t think the kids are alright, but they are right to notice that the pain of being alive without any answers, beneficent social structures or parents to guide us is — as they regularly put it to me in my office — “total bullshit.” Their refusal to go one step further, turn in one more worksheet, comply with one more request, slam the door and go on strike is a helpful guide for framing our own responses to the chaos of our present. Not because we need to angrily self-immolate in the wake of our profound aloneness, but because we must begin noticing that the creeping depression and anxiety we feel right now must be rejected rather than internalized as the just rewards for our failure to cope and keep working.

We must begin forcefully illuminating the falsity of our nation’s religious fidelity to privatization, deregulation and individualism as nothing more than a large-scale effort to disempower us from talking to one another out loud about what we want, need and desire for the world.

I want you to empathize with your pain, acknowledge it, care for it, but I’m begging you, don’t own it. It isn’t yours, it’s ours, and the only way we get out of this, the only way we defeat this, is by dreaming, working and refusing to be anything but together.

Eric Minton is a writer, pastor and therapist living with his family in Knoxville, Tenn. He holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Tennessee, a master of divinity degree from Fuller Theological Seminary and a master of science degree in clinical mental health counseling from Carson-Newman University.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window)

OPINION: Views expressed in Baptist News Global columns and commentaries are solely those of the authors.
Tags:Youth MinistryDepressionpublic educationanxietyCOVID-19parentingEric Minton
More by
Eric Minton
  • Get BNG headlines in your inbox

  • Featured

    • Three billboards outside Nashville, Tennessee

      News

    • Why this seminary professor’s view of MrBeast and his friend is deadly and dangerous

      Opinion

    • Shurden Lecture takes on the ‘myth of American chosenness’

      News

    • What happens when Tom Ascol finds Ted Cruz to be too liberal and quotes Leviticus 20:13?

      News


    Curated

    • In Pittsburgh synagogue shooting trial, Jewish rituals feature as prominently as the carnage of the day

      In Pittsburgh synagogue shooting trial, Jewish rituals feature as prominently as the carnage of the day

    • Manipur Christians: ‘The Violence Has Shattered Us’

      Manipur Christians: ‘The Violence Has Shattered Us’

    • Pride flag glimpsed on ‘The Chosen’ set prompts call for boycott

      Pride flag glimpsed on ‘The Chosen’ set prompts call for boycott

    • Why Chick-fil-A Is Drawing Fire Over a ‘Culture of Belonging’

      Why Chick-fil-A Is Drawing Fire Over a ‘Culture of Belonging’

    Read Next:

    A primer on why Southern Baptists are fighting over women in ministry once again

    AnalysisMark Wingfield

    More Articles

    • All
    • News
    • Opinion
    • Curated
    • Here’s a guide to understanding the latest report from Southwestern’s trustees

      AnalysisMark Wingfield

    • Is Rick Warren reviving the fight against the fundamentalist takeover of the SBC?

      OpinionMeredith Stone

    • An open letter to all Southern Baptists

      OpinionRick Warren

    • Shurden Lecture takes on the ‘myth of American chosenness’

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • An open letter to Elijah Brown, Baptist World Alliance CEO

      OpinionRichard Wilson

    • Why this seminary professor’s view of MrBeast and his friend is deadly and dangerous

      OpinionMark Wingfield

    • What happens when Tom Ascol finds Ted Cruz to be too liberal and quotes Leviticus 20:13?

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Three billboards outside Nashville, Tennessee

      NewsRick Pidcock

    • What I learned from Taylor Swift

      OpinionBill Wilson

    • Remembering Pulse nighclub and the power of affirmation

      OpinionMaina Mwaura

    • A primer on why Southern Baptists are fighting over women in ministry once again

      AnalysisMark Wingfield

    • Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina loses president and board chair in same week

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Faith-based immigration advocates hopeful about new bill in Congress

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Coalition urges White House not to overlook Black immigrants

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Working and waiting with people and plants

      OpinionBob Newell

    • Gay Christian man says he was kicked off BWA commissions

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Let’s reclaim the real Baptist identity

      OpinionJustin L. Addington

    • Southwestern trustees affirm their leadership and repudiate two trustees who raised alarms

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • How to fix anemic U.S. rural health care? Learn from Africa and look to the churches, Birx says

      NewsElizabeth Souder

    • To the mother who complained about Amanda Gorman’s poem

      OpinionRobert P. Sellers

    • Medical professionals address myths and misconceptions about transgender kids

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Focus on the Family affiliate is the unifying force behind campaign to restrict transgender rights

      AnalysisSteve Rabey

    • Opal Lee may be the ‘Grandmother of Juneteenth,’ but she’s not done working for justice yet

      NewsMallory Challis

    • Rising from the ashes: God’s empowering message for displaced women

      OpinionRosaly Guzman

    • Ministry jobs and more

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • Shurden Lecture takes on the ‘myth of American chosenness’

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • What happens when Tom Ascol finds Ted Cruz to be too liberal and quotes Leviticus 20:13?

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Three billboards outside Nashville, Tennessee

      NewsRick Pidcock

    • Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina loses president and board chair in same week

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Faith-based immigration advocates hopeful about new bill in Congress

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Coalition urges White House not to overlook Black immigrants

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Gay Christian man says he was kicked off BWA commissions

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Southwestern trustees affirm their leadership and repudiate two trustees who raised alarms

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • How to fix anemic U.S. rural health care? Learn from Africa and look to the churches, Birx says

      NewsElizabeth Souder

    • Medical professionals address myths and misconceptions about transgender kids

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Opal Lee may be the ‘Grandmother of Juneteenth,’ but she’s not done working for justice yet

      NewsMallory Challis

    • Ministry jobs and more

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • U.S. Department of Education issues guidance on religious expression in schools

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Ten Commandments bill dies in Texas Legislature

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Leader of Assemblies of God student group at Baylor arrested on child sexual abuse charges

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • BJC and Interfaith Alliance applaud first-ever national strategy to counter antisemitism

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • New documentary series shows how churches that close can keep ministry open

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Southwestern Seminary trustees called to special meeting next Tuesday

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Transitions for the week of 5-26-23

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • 8-year-old’s death in CBP custody highlights Biden’s ‘system of death,’ immigration advocates say

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Evangelical worldview ministries seek to promote ‘proper’ thoughts, beliefs and actions

      NewsSteve Rabey

    • Here’s another angle to corporate DEI work: Increased support for ‘faith friendly’ workplaces

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Amid Sudan war and elsewhere, water scarcity threatens lives

      NewsAnthony Akaeze

    • Ministry jobs and more

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • Gap widens on American confidence in vaccines

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Is Rick Warren reviving the fight against the fundamentalist takeover of the SBC?

      OpinionMeredith Stone

    • An open letter to all Southern Baptists

      OpinionRick Warren

    • An open letter to Elijah Brown, Baptist World Alliance CEO

      OpinionRichard Wilson

    • Why this seminary professor’s view of MrBeast and his friend is deadly and dangerous

      OpinionMark Wingfield

    • What I learned from Taylor Swift

      OpinionBill Wilson

    • Remembering Pulse nighclub and the power of affirmation

      OpinionMaina Mwaura

    • Working and waiting with people and plants

      OpinionBob Newell

    • Let’s reclaim the real Baptist identity

      OpinionJustin L. Addington

    • To the mother who complained about Amanda Gorman’s poem

      OpinionRobert P. Sellers

    • Rising from the ashes: God’s empowering message for displaced women

      OpinionRosaly Guzman

    • How the Progressive National Baptist Convention plans to put faith into action

      OpinionDarryl Gray

    • Believe me: The struggle of Black pain

      OpinionZachary Barber

    • They’ll know we are Christians by our what?

      OpinionBill Leonard, Senior Columnist

    • How to celebrate Pentecost without balloons, plastic doves or salsa

      OpinionJack Levison

    • The generational pain and hope of the Southern Baptist witch trials

      OpinionWill Raybon

    • Why demographic shifts haven’t yet swamped the Republican Party

      OpinionRobert P. Jones

    • Tina Turner kept the divine flame burning

      OpinionJustin Cox

    • Remembering Bob Seymour: Being wise as serpents and harmless as doves

      OpinionCurtis Freeman

    • Here’s why Ron DeSantis has gone to war with Disney

      OpinionRodney Kennedy

    • Yes, Tim Scott is a Black man, but he’s still promoting Christian nationalism

      OpinionRick Pidcock

    • Why ‘affirming’ churches need to speak up

      OpinionSusan M. Shaw, Senior Columnist

    • Five things Southern Baptists should do now to address clergy sex abuse

      OpinionChrista Brown and David Clohessy

    • Why we must be cautious about understanding what’s going on at Southwestern Seminary

      OpinionMark Wingfield

    • On graduation and the priesthood of all believers

      OpinionVal Fisk

    • Here’s how to force SBC entities to be accountable to people in the pew about their finances

      OpinionMark Wingfield

    • In Pittsburgh synagogue shooting trial, Jewish rituals feature as prominently as the carnage of the day

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Manipur Christians: ‘The Violence Has Shattered Us’

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Pride flag glimpsed on ‘The Chosen’ set prompts call for boycott

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Why Chick-fil-A Is Drawing Fire Over a ‘Culture of Belonging’

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Survey: Drop in Eastern European antisemitism may be due to Zelenskyy effect

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Street scrolls: The beats, rhymes and spirituality of Latin hip-hop

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • ‘Felt like a year’: Worshipper describes fear during gunman’s deadly attack on Pittsburgh synagogue

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Near the Western Wall, Jewish radicals shout at Christian Evangelicals to ‘go home’

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Playing a religious character without making faith the punchline

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Jewish settlers erect religious school in evacuated West Bank outpost after Israel repeals ban

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • How the practice of Nichiren Buddhism sustained Tina Turner for 50 years

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Connecticut lawmakers absolve accused colonial-era witches, apologize for “miscarriage of justice”

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • ‘Avatar’ Franchise Expands Ideas About Spirituality Beyond A Western, Christian Lens

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Catholic Church in California grapples with more than 3,000 lawsuits, alleging child sex abuse

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Canadian Christians Launch Collective for Climate Action

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • As ‘The Marvelous Mrs Maisel’ ends, will its Jewish legacy be more than a punchline?

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • US Slavic Churches Booming with Ukrainian War Refugees

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • What is ‘ethical AI’ and how can companies achieve it?

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Russia acknowledges Vatican peace initiative, says no steps yet for a mission to Moscow

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • What we need to understand is that fascism is intersectional and erotic — ’thy rod is thy gun,’ with a hip-thrust

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Our Beloved Ones Don’t Become Angels When They Die

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Turkey’s Christian Sites: Visiting The Seven Churches From The Book Of Revelation

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Firewalkers in Greece honor Saint Constantine in mystery-shrouded, centuries-old rituals

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • In fight against ‘tyranny,’ Michigan board declares itself ‘constitutional county’

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Montana acts to protect Native American priority in adopting Native children

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    Conversations that Matter.

    © 2023 Baptist News Global. All rights reserved.

    Want to share a story? We hope you will! Read our republishing, terms of use and privacy policies here.

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • LinkedIn
    • RSS