Recently, I had one of those perfectly-timed experiences where the radio just happened to play what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. It was a segment called “Aha Moments” on the show Studio 360. I felt God nudging me to pay close attention as singer-songwriter Dave Alvin relayed his revelation that the key to his success and happiness was giving up.
Lisa Cole Smith
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Alvin’s band, The Blasters, was a vital part of the early 1980s punk scene. Back then he was living his dream—the musician’s life. Playing to packed crowds, touring the country, recording with big labels, he had it made, until the world started to change.
As the ’80s progressed, pierced, mohawked punk rockers were replaced in popularity by long haired stretch pant wearing heavy metal bands. The music scene seemed to be getting younger as he was getting older and his audiences began to dwindle. He grew frustrated as he realized that continued success at the level he had already achieved would mean making major changes. He could make different music to appeal to new audiences. He could change his image or jump on the never ending treadmill of trying to look younger and cooler. But none of these seemed like satisfying options and he feared he faced the end of his career or worse the end of his creative fulfillment. Only a few years earlier he was climbing the ladder of success, fame and fortune. Now he found himself frustrated, depressed and disillusioned.
Then, in 1989, Alvin had a life altering experience when he went with a friend to see the Soul legend Curtis Mayfield play at the Palomino club in L.A. He was surprised to find the creator of so many hits playing such a small club. As the show started Alvin found himself sinking deeper into depression, disappointed and disgusted with humanity. What sense does the world make when musical genius plays small clubs and hair metal sells out stadiums?
It felt like an injustice and proof of the futility of it all. If Curtis Mayfield couldn’t draw big crowds and get people excited, then what is the point of playing for such fickle audiences? But then, Curtis Mayfield began to play.
For Alvin, everything changed in that magical moment. “He is playing to 80 people and he is glorious,” he thought. Up there, on the stage, the only thing that mattered to Mayfield was the music. He was playing what he loved, the way he was meant to do it regardless of who was or wasn’t watching. It was in that moment that Dave Alvin gave up. He gave up trying to have a certain kind of career. He gave up worrying about his image and his marketability. He gave up worrying who came to see his shows. And then he gave in to doing what he loves to do and enjoying it. He left the show reborn. “I’m just going to be me. I’m gonna play to 80 people and love it as much as Curtis did.”
I love the freedom expressed in that statement. Artists long for that kind of giving up and giving in and know it is only at that point you are able to make the music you were born to make.
But the same has to be true for our spiritual lives and church work as well. How often do I substitute “serving God” for actually having a relationship with God? How often am I judging the success of ministry through the mirror of other people’s eyes? How often do I refuse to give up distracting agendas that eat up valuable time and energy?
Alvin started working as a musician because one day early in his development he picked up a guitar and fell in love with making music. I got into ministry because one day God picked me up and I fell in love with being in his presence. The service and ministry flows out of the music of our relationship. Is it any wonder that ministry gets dry and difficult when it becomes about everything but that music? I need moments like Dave Alvin’s where I remember what it is like to just give up all the other “stuff” and give in to being in love with God, letting the music of our relationship play without a thought or care as to who might be listening.
Maybe sometimes giving up is exactly what is called for in order to give in. Sometimes it is necessary to give up whatever is getting in the way of true passion, prayer and service in order to completely give in to playing the music of relationship with God and loving it.
Lisa Cole Smith (lsmith@convergenceccfnet) is pastor of Convergence: A Creative Community of Faith, a Baptist congregation in Alexandria, Va.