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Pewboy meets Calvin

NewsReligious Herald  |  September 27, 2006

Pewboy: Oh, I thought you had heard that I had another question and was making yourself scarce!

Altar Ego: Well, I had noticed your agitated state. Is this going to be another trivial imponderable like “Given a preacher's favorite Sunday dinner meat, how many chickens have entered the ministry?”

Pewboy: At least I discovered where the chicken was going when it crossed the road. But my question today is more reasonable.

Altar Ego: (dubiously) Hmm. Like what?

Pewboy: Well, I read where Southern Baptist preachers were asked if they are Five-Point Calvinists. My question is “What in tarnation is Five-Point Calvinism?”

Altar Ego: (not sure whether to be relieved or in dread of the coming conversation) O.K., let's start with the basic question. You do know who Calvin was, don't you?

Pewboy: Sure, he is the kid who has the imaginary tiger in the comic strip. By the way, are they still printing that? I haven't seen it in a while.

Altar Ego: My fears are confirmed. John Calvin was a theologian and preacher who is generally linked with Martin Luther and others to the Reformation. Calvin is generally considered to have given rise to the line of thought expressed in the early Presbyterian Church.

Pewboy: So his sermons had five points? I guess that's better than preaching a sermon that's pointless.

Altar Ego: The five points are tenants of his theology (continuing as Pewboy opened his mouth to speak). Before you ask, strict Calvinists agree on these five points. As with most belief systems, some are adamant about these beliefs, taking them to the extreme. These are sometimes called “Hyper Calvinists.” Others are in varying degrees less dogmatic.

First is the belief that human beings are evil. Mankind, by virtue of the fall is “totally depraved” meaning that we have no goodness in us by which to appeal to God for mercy.

Pewboy: O.K., so that's just another way of saying “Everybody has sinned, right?”

Altar Ego: Well, that may be what some mean by it, but a hyper Calvinist believes not only that we have all sinned, but that sin has destroyed the capacity to choose goodness.

Pewboy: Wow. O.K., what's next?

Altar Ego: Second, a five-point Calvinist believes that absolutely nothing influences God's choice to save people except his own sovereignty. There is nothing in us that makes God decide to save us. It is his choice alone.

Pewboy: O.K., I understand that. We aren't saved by works. I've heard that from every pastor our church has ever had.

Altar Ego: Third, God decides that some people will be saved. In effect, Christ's death on the cross was effectual for some but not for others. Particular ones of us have been chosen by God for salvation while others have not.

Pewboy: So, you are saying that God decides that some are going to be saved and others won't? I always thought that God wanted everyone to be saved and it was a matter of our choosing to accept Jesus as our Savior.

Altar Ego: You have just put your finger on one of the major points of contention between Calvinists and another group called the Arminians. And, before you refer to another comic strip, the group gets it's name from Jacobus Arminius, a Dutch theologian who taught that everyone was invited to be saved. (at this point Altar Ego paused but Pewboy only furrowed his brows in concentration)

The fourth point is that if God has decided you will be saved, there is nothing you can to do to keep yourself from being saved. God's saving grace will always draw that person to salvation. The person cannot resist it. That's why this point is called “irresistible grace.”

Pewboy: Go on.

Altar Ego: Finally, if God has decided you are going to be saved and you are unfailingly drawn to confess your faith in Christ, you cannot be unsaved. God's sovereign will has decreed it and it cannot be otherwise.

Pewboy: (after a long pause during which he stared intently at the wall across from him) So, if I understand it, a five-point Calvinist believes that some people are going to be saved no matter what and other people are going to be lost no matter what because God has decided some will be and others won't be.

Altar Ego: In a nutshell, that's about the size of it.

Pewboy: So if God has decided I am one of the unlucky ones, I will spend eternity in hell because God made that decision for me and there is nothing I can do about it?

Altar Ego: If you are not one of the “elect” you have no hope.

Pewboy: That doesn't sound very loving to me.Not only that, what about the Great Commission that tells us to go into all the world. Why? If God has already decided who is going to be saved and it will happen no matter what, why send missionaries? Why send money to Alma, Annie and Lottie? Why did Paul take three missionary journeys? Why would martyrs lay down their lives unnecessarily if the elect are going to be saved anyway?

Altar Ego: A five-point Calvinist would say that all these are in God's plan for bringing that person irresistibly to Christ, but you make very good points.

Pewboy: Well, as a practical matter, if people are going to be saved whether or not we send missionaries and whether or not we give to missions, we should forget evangelism because God will take care of that. We should spend our time and money to ease the suffering of the poor, diseased and hurting in our world, it seems to me.

And another thing. If I a person is going to be saved no matter what, what happens if he decides to live like the devil? In fact, why not? Eat, drink and be merry because you're going to be saved and no amount of sinning is going to change that.

Altar Ego: A five-point Calvinist will say that a person who has been drawn by God's grace to Christ will have no desire to live in such a way, but your point is well taken. In fact, one of the early hyper Calvinists named Tobias Crisp advocated just such thinking. Another, named Joseph Hussey, a Presbyterian preacher, refused to offer an invitation for fear of offending God in inadvertently inviting the nonelect to salvation.

Pewboy: Well, the article said that only about 10 percent of Southern Baptist preachers called themselves five-point Calvinists. It also said that this was a sizeable enough group that it had to be taken seriously. I guess I'm encouraged by that.

Altar Ego: Why is that?

Pewboy: Well, there was a time not so long ago when 49 percent of Southern Baptists were completely ignored. I guess progress is being made on some fronts.

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