This is the fourth of a five-part fictional story set in the early 1990s about Rev. Paul Graham and his congregation, Grace United Church of Christ. In the previous episode, a lifelong member of Paul’s congregation contracted HIV/AIDS. In spite of his fears about this brutal disease, Paul offered compassionate pastoral care to his parishioner.
A week after leading the Communion service at Tommy’s AIDS clinic, Paul went to visit Tommy’s parents, Ted and Eva. By now nobody in the Branson family pretended Tommy wasn’t gay or didn’t have AIDS. During their visit, Ted told Paul: “The doctors tell us Tommy’s long-term prognosis is bleak. But thankfully, he’s doing a lot better for now, and the docs say he can come home from the hospital tomorrow.”
“That’s great news,” said Paul.
Eva, looking anxious, had an important question for her pastor.
“Pastor Paul, given his diagnosis of AIDS and the deep fear that instills in people, will Tommy still be welcome at Grace Church?”
That evening Paul told his wife, Sarah, about his visit with the Bransons and about Eva’s haunting question, “Will Tommy still be welcome at Grace?”
Then Paul said, “In pastoral circles ministers often ask one another the question, ‘Is this a ditch you are willing to die in?’ It’s our way of asking, ‘Is this particular battle worth risking your entire ministry?’ I’ve been thinking about that question a lot since I found out Tommy has AIDS. I’ve decided Tommy’s continued relationship with Grace is a ditch I’m willing to die in. More than ever, Ted, Eva and Tommy need a community of faith to help them through this nightmare. I also believe Tommy’s illness offers a powerful opportunity for our congregation to clarify our core identity as a community of grace. But I’m not naïve. This battle is not going to be easy.”
“I also believe Tommy’s illness offers a powerful opportunity for our congregation to clarify our core identity as a community of grace.”
Paul continued, “The sad fact is, fear, ignorance and even hysteria about AIDS prevail in the media. People think they can catch AIDS from causal contact: a hug, a handshake or using the same bathroom. Even being in the same room with an AIDS patient feels threatening to many people. Although the folks at Grace are good-hearted, they will not be immune from such fears. I had similar fears myself before you set me straight. The more I think about this situation, the more I realize we’re going to need professional help if we are going to convince the congregation to stick with the Bransons and be church family for them.”
“So, what’s your plan?” asked Sarah.
“I don’t know him well, but that young doctor, Richard Mosely, who has been attending lately with his wife, Sandra, specializes in infectious diseases. I made a few inquiries today and learned that Dr. Mosely works closely with large numbers of AIDS patients. So I’m going to attempt to enlist Dr. Mosely to lead an educational campaign among the congregation.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Sarah replied. “I hope he will cooperate.”
“Before I do this,” Paul said, “I need to know I have your support. This could end badly for me. If so, it will have serious consequences for our entire family.”
Without hesitation Sarah said, “You have my full support, Paul. This is a ditch worth dying in.”
Two days later, after carefully explaining the details of the situation to Dr. Mosely, Paul asked, “Would you be willing to help our congregation navigate this difficult challenge?”
Dr. Mosely said, “I would be honored to do so.”
As soon as he got home, Paul told Sarah about Dr. Mosely’s willingness to help. He then said, “Over the past few months, I’ve gotten extremely close to Tommy, Ted and Eva. I’ve deposited a lot of chips into my pastoral care bank with all three of them. So I’m going to cash in a few of those chips tomorrow.”
The next afternoon Paul went to visit Eva, Ted and Tommy.
“I need for you to give me a month to prepare Grace for this challenge. Over the next four weeks, I’m asking that you not attend worship services. During that time, we are going to educate the people at Grace about AIDS and prepare them to welcome Tommy back to the congregation.”
Trusting their pastor’s intentions, they agreed.
Over the next four weeks, Grace Church got a crash course in HIV and AIDS, primarily led by Dr. Mosely and his wife, Sandra, a pharmacist. Paul joined them in their presentations, offering a theological and church family perspective. From large gatherings to small groups, virtually every member of the church entered the ongoing education and conversation.
A week and a half before Tommy returned to Grace, Paul called a churchwide meeting to debrief what the members had learned and discussed.
“We are here tonight to talk about the situation with Tommy. For weeks now all of us have been in conversations with one another on this subject. If you have any final questions or comments to make, tonight is your opportunity to do so.”
“I’m not putting my children at risk to prove some theological point by Pastor Graham.”
Immediately, Glenda Elder, a mother with three young children said, “If Tommy Branson comes back to Grace, I’m leaving. I’m not putting my children at risk to prove some theological point by Pastor Graham.”
Although plenty of people had positive comments about welcoming Tommy back to church, several members echoed the sentiments of Glenda Elder.
Clearly, Paul realized, this is not going to be easy.
A few days later Paul received an anonymous letter at the church office.
Pastor Graham,
There are people in our congregation who don’t agree with homosexuality. The Bible says it is wrong, and we don’t think our preacher should imply that it’s OK. Lots of people here do not want to be around a man with AIDS. It puts all of us at risk. If you keep pushing this agenda, I’ll be leaving Grace Church, and I won’t be the only one.
A Concerned Member
Paul instantly felt a knot in his gut. I wonder how many people feel this way. Am I making a huge mistake here?
Paul reread the letter. Then he threw it in the trash can.
This is a ditch I’m willing to die in.
The following Sunday morning, one week before the Bransons’ scheduled return, Paul stood before the congregation and read Mark 1:40–43.
A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, “If you are willing, you can make me clean.” Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured.
After the reading Paul said, “In Jesus’ day, people considered lepers unclean. Nobody would go near a leper, much less touch one. They were banished from their community and left to suffer and die alone. Jesus, however, rejected such inhumane treatment. Instead, he saw people with leprosy as beloved children of God who needed touching, loving and healing. Today’s text tells us that Jesus, filled with compassion, touched a leper and made him whole.
“Over the past few months, I’ve spent a lot of time with numerous young men who have AIDS. Some of them have been abandoned by their families. Many others have been rejected by their churches. All of them are scared and desperately need human love, warmth and touch. In truth, people with AIDS are modern-day lepers. Like the leper in today’s reading, they need compassion and the healing touch of grace.”
“Over a year ago,” Paul reminded them, “on my very first Sunday in this place, I told you that when I first heard about our church, I felt attracted to the name — Grace Church. I mentioned that in today’s world people desperately need grace and not judgment. I told you that my dream for our church is that we will always live up to our namesake.
“Next week Tommy Branson is coming back to Grace Church. We’ve spent a month learning from Dr. Mosely, a highly respected expert in the field of AIDS, that Tommy is not a medical threat to any of us or to our children. More than ever before in their entire life, Tommy, Ted and Eva need a community of grace. It’s time for us to step up to the plate and offer that grace to them.”
The following Sunday, Ted, Eva, and Tommy Branson returned to Grace Church. They sat in their pew like always. A few people greeted them. But the tension was palpable. After the opening hymn, Paul stood in the front of the congregation and said, as he did every Sunday, “The peace of Christ be with you.” The people responded, “And also with you.” Paul then said, “We come to this place today not only as individuals but as a church family. Please greet one another in Christian love and community.”
With that, the dam of fear and ignorance broke open.
At first, people standing around the Branson family didn’t know what to do. Finally, Sarah, Dr. Mosely and his wife, Sandra, made a beeline for the Bransons, shook their hands and gave them a warm and loving embrace. With that, the dam of fear and ignorance broke open. Almost every person in attendance walked up to the Bransons and shook their hands, patted them on the back or hugged them and welcomed them back home to Grace. The passing of the peace, which usually took about a minute, took 15 minutes to conclude.
Paul never felt prouder of a congregation in his life.
However, it came at a cost. As Paul later explained to his best friend, Bill Sanford, during a phone call: “The person who wrote me that anonymous letter told the truth. Plenty of people in the congregation were not happy about having a gay man with AIDS at their church. The best I can tell, we lost about 10% of our members over the decision to welcome an AIDS patient. I don’t think they are bad people, just fearful. But they are gone, and they are not coming back.
“However, in the end, I believe this decision will help build Grace’s reputation as a community of compassion, inclusion and open-mindedness in our community. We’ve already seen a significant increase in first-time guests. I think we are going to land on our feet.”
Paul’s instinct proved correct. Within a year, Grace far more than made up the difference in lost membership. People in town began to hear stories about an open-minded community of grace, and they wanted to be a part of it.
A year and a half after Tommy was first diagnosed with AIDS, on a Thursday afternoon, Paul stood behind the pulpit at Grace, looked at his congregation, and said, “We have gathered here this afternoon to worship God and to witness to our faith as we remember and celebrate the life of Tommy Branson. May God grant us grace that in pain we may find comfort, in sorrow hope, in death resurrection.”
The sanctuary, packed with people who loved Tommy, also wanted to show their love and support for Ted and Eva. Although Paul felt deep grief over Tommy’s death, he also felt overwhelming gratitude for the privilege of serving as pastor of a loving and grace-filled church.
A few days after the funeral service, Paul dropped by Ted and Eva’s home for a visit.
Eva said, “Paul, we want to thank you and the congregation for your compassionate ministry to Tommy throughout his illness. You also did a magnificent job at his funeral.” For a moment she choked up and had to stop. When she regained her voice, she said, “Ted and I deeply appreciate all you have done for Tommy and for us. We love you, and we’re so glad you are our pastor.”
For almost an hour Paul, Ted and Eva talked about Tommy, the conversation interspersed with both laughter and tears. As they talked, Paul thought to himself, What an extraordinary privilege it is to be a pastor.
What Paul couldn’t know yet is that a far larger challenge than offering hospitality to a gay man with AIDS loomed for both him and Grace UCC.
Martin Thielen
Martin Thielen, retired United Methodist minister and writer, is the creator and author of www.DoubtersParish.com. The stories in this series come from his novel An Inconvenient Loss of Faith, available to download for free.
Previously in this series:
Searching for Grace: A necessary ending
Searching for Grace: First Sunday
Searching for Grace: Worst-kept secret