I was sitting on my back porch, watching some early Fourth of July fireworks but not feeling at all patriotic as I pondered the current ICE raids. Almost everyone I know is impacted, asking about their loved one and wondering what can we do if they are detained?
Suddenly, a young man appeared in my backyard.
All my instincts were warning me of danger and to be careful. But I also listened when he told me he needed help and was abandoned. He told me he was at a party and repeated that he was abandoned. Then he told me he served in Afghanistan and has PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
My training for working at the Survivor Justice Center, with a model of holistic services and an integrated trauma-informed model, taught me to de-escalate and to listen, while still being cautious.
Carmen McDonald
I got my visitor a chair and some water, and I saw that his hand was bleeding. He said he punched the back window of his car to open it. He said he couldn’t find his phone. He couldn’t find his keys. He went to a laundromat for help, and someone there told him they were going to call the police on him.
He asked me to call his sister and his dad, and it was his father who immediately said he would come pick him up. He was 30 minutes away.
I knew I had 30 minutes to de-escalate, 30 minutes to listen, 30 minutes to intervene, 30 minutes to be cautious but a human.
Thirty minutes of my life was impacted, but I learned this young man, at the age of 27, is impacted forever. I found out he has a child, so intergenerational trauma is likely to occur. I found out maybe he’d been incarcerated. He killed people for the U.S. Marines in Afghanistan. He spoke of women potentially having explosive devices hidden in their clothing. He spoke about a fellow Marine getting killed and another one having his legs blown off.
“Nobody cares about who is harmed by a system that seems to be about power and greed and money and war, this military-industrial complex.”
He said nobody cares about what they did to him. Nobody cares about his trauma. I’m listening, because in my work, what I think is: “Nobody cares about the victims. Nobody cares about the innocent. Nobody cares about who is harmed by a system that seems to be about power and greed and money and war, this military-industrial complex.”
The recent Big Beautiful Bill only further demonstrates we don’t care about the neediest, when we are cutting lifesaving resources like Medicaid and resources for vets.
This man is a victim of a system. My clients also are victims and survivors, and they, too, feel they are not important or cared for.
My kids came outside, and I said: “Go upstairs. Go in your rooms. Close the door.” I wanted to protect my kids, but I also thought about this young man. I would want someone to protect my child if they were in trouble, but this young man was bleeding and unstable. Did he hurt someone? What dangers did he cause? It’s this horrible system, this intergenerational system of violence and creating victims. And this young man told me he had a child. So now a system may get involved — the child abuse system.
Thirty minutes later, his dad, sister and mother arrived. He threw himself on the floor and again declared that nobody cares, nobody’s listening. But I said, “Your family is here.”
They told me he served in Afghanistan. They thanked me.
The harms trauma create … present years of trauma to the families, to the victims, to their children, to the community.
This family will spend years trying to support him, years trying to take care of him. I only had 30 minutes to give. And it cost nothing.
The harms trauma create take years to unravel — years of trauma to the families, to the victims, to their children, to the community.
If this young man hadn’t shown up in my backyard, he could have been arrested and thrown in jail. His car would have been impounded. But would he have gotten any help? I hope those 30 minutes helped him.
Every immigration attorney I know right now is working double- or triple-time trying to answer all the questions of all the people who need help. Many of them give a 30-minute consult for free to anyone who needs it, just to share information as quickly as they can. The laws are changing daily, hourly, weekly and monthly. It’s unsustainable, and something must give.
We must care for all victims and not create new victims. Today, these past three weeks, past six months, have created harms that will unravel for years. But for now, let’s listen and help. And reach out to your congressional representatives to fight back against critical safety net cuts.
Carmen McDonald is an attorney who serves as executive director of the Survivor Justice Center; she is a Public Voices Fellow of the OpEd Project and Blue Shield California.
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