Baptist News Global
Sections
  • News
  • Analysis
  • Opinion
  • Curated
  • Storytelling
    • Faith & Justice >
      • Charleston: Metanoia with Bill Stanfield
      • Charlotte: QC Family Tree with Greg and Helms Jarrell
      • Little Rock: Judge Wendell Griffen
      • North Carolina: Conetoe
    • Welcoming the Stranger >
      • Lost Boys of Sudan: St. John’s Baptist Charlotte
      • Awakening to Immigrant Justice: Myers Park Baptist Church
      • Hospitality on the corner: Gaston Christian Center
    • Signature Ministries >
      • Jake Hall: Gospel Gothic, Music and Radio
    • Singing Our Faith >
      • Hymns for a Lifetime: Ken Wilson and Knollwood Baptist Church
      • Norfolk Street Choir
    • Resilient Rural America >
      • Alabama: Perry County
      • Texas: Hidalgo County
      • Arkansas Delta
      • Southeast Kentucky
  • More
    • Contact
    • About
    • Donate
    • Planned Giving
    • Letters to the Editor
    • Advertising
    • Ministry Jobs and More
    • Transitions
    • Subscribe
    • Submissions and Permissions
Donate Subscribe
Search Search this site

A lavish welcome to the table

OpinionAmy Butler  |  July 14, 2015

Butler Amy ColumnBy Amy Butler

I’ve always been a little sensitive about being left out, and I don’t even need a therapy session to tell you why.

When I was a little kid we would visit my grandparents every summer, and during our visits we’d have to attend meeting with them. “Meeting” was their church, a very conservative Christian sect in which women sat in silence with their heads covered; no ministers led the gatherings — only the people (men) moved by the Spirit spoke during the services; there was no musical accompaniment, just dirge-like singing (to my young ears).

And, every meeting, only the people who were “in fellowship” got to take communion.

I can’t quite recall how long the meetings lasted, only that after a long, long while filled with men droning on and a lot of really terrible songs, someone would bring in a beautiful loaf of bread and a cup filled with wine. I believe some of the women in the group baked the bread — either that or I was really hungry and imagined the smell. Regardless, the loaf was beautiful: brown and crusty, a perfect rectangle with edges I could imagine spilling over a pan. And when the bread and wine were brought in, all the people who were not “in fellowship” had to go sit in the back.

That would be me.

Me, who loved my grandparents like crazy, me who had “accepted Jesus in her heart” more times than appropriate even in most evangelical circles, me who was first (by a long shot) at any Bible verse memorization competition. I had to go sit in the back row, with my siblings and parents, because we were not “in fellowship.”

So I did. With my borrowed lace mantilla bobby pinned to my head (head covering, remember), my 10-year-old self trying to stay quiet and still by staring at the wall decorated with a calligraphied poster of John 3:16 (“for God so loved the world”), all the while wondering why I was excluded.

I recall even then (perhaps it was my rebellious streak coming out early) thinking: this is ridiculous. We should all be diving into that beautiful loaf of bread, together.

And maybe that’s why I feel especially sensitive to being left out. Or maybe it’s because there are many, many places in this world designed to exclude people. The one place that should never, ever be on that list is the church.

I thought about that recently, when I attended worship on vacation. I think many pastors share my conundrum: we answer a call to ministry because we love the church. But when we’re in charge, we don’t often feel like we’re worshipping on Sundays. Vacation is a great opportunity to sit in the pews, anonymous. And I did, sternly telling myself not to critique, just to be there, singing along with everybody else, receiving the gifts of liturgy, music, spoken word.

And I managed pretty well until the pastor invited everyone there to come surround the altar to receive communion. I, obviously a stranger in the small gathered group, tentatively made my way into the circle. As I stood waiting for communion, I felt a hand tapping me on my shoulder. I turned around to see a man motioning that I should move out of the way, to step behind him, out of the circle. He moved forward and took my place, while the circle closed and I stood behind him, excluded.

There I was, awkwardly standing outside the circle. I didn’t know what I should do, so I stood there until after the pastor, who didn’t notice me there in the back, made his way past and I was not served. Then, I went to sit down.

column embedded vertical

I was surprised to feel tears suddenly prick my eyes, and my face was burning with shame? Embarrassment? I’m quite sure nobody meant to intentionally exclude me, but the experience reminded me how much it hurts to be left out. And how the grace we claim in the bread and the cup should never, ever be an occasion on which anyone — anyone at all — is excluded.

I wonder how many people wander into our worship services every week and feel the sting of exclusion? It’s not that we mean to do it, but I’ll bet we do. In a society full of people and systems meant to exclude and divide, perhaps it is the highest calling of the Church of Jesus Christ to make absolutely sure we go above and beyond to include: lavish welcome, lavish grace, lavish hospitality, in our communities and, please, at the table of Christ.

As I sat in my seat surprised by how I was feeling, I suddenly felt another hand on my shoulder. I turned to see the kind face of a woman who had greeted me when I first came in. She whispered: “I saw what happened, and I want to make sure you get served.” Then, she took me by the hand straight to the table, where the pastor was finishing up. He turned with a smile and offered me the bread and the cup: “The body of Christ, the cup of salvation, thanks be to God.”

I took those symbols of grace with extra gratitude, reminded again that especially in our cold, hard, exclusive world, it is so very powerful … to be welcomed. After all, we should all be diving into that beautiful loaf of bread, together.


OPINION: Views expressed in Baptist News Global columns and commentaries are solely those of the authors.
Tags:columnsAmy ButlerCommunionInclusionExclusion
More by
Amy Butler
  • Get BNG headlines in your inbox

  • BNG dinner will bring together Anthea Butler and Beth Allison Barr for a conversation on race and gender

    Two of the most prominent voices speaking to the American church about race and gender will appear together at the Baptist News Global dinner during the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship’s General Assembly in Dallas this June. Get your tickets now!

  • Featured

    • Intolerable cruelty is killing us

      Opinion

    • Another racist mass shooting and our failure to tend Jesus’ sheep

      Opinion

    • Baptists in Ukraine continue their humanitarian work amid devastation

      News

    • Sadly, I agree that a complementarian seminary shouldn’t offer women degrees in pastoral theology

      Opinion


    Curated

    • Don’t buy Alito’s assurances: here’s what happens next after Roe falls

      Don’t buy Alito’s assurances: here’s what happens next after Roe falls

      May 19, 2022
    • Leading Psychologist Bridges Trauma Healing and the Black Church

      Leading Psychologist Bridges Trauma Healing and the Black Church

      May 19, 2022
    • For some people, religious leaders might be most effective at communicating the importance of COVID-19 vaccination

      For some people, religious leaders might be most effective at communicating the importance of COVID-19 vaccination

      May 19, 2022
    • Former pastor in 2 states pleads guilty to child sex charges

      Former pastor in 2 states pleads guilty to child sex charges

      May 19, 2022
    Read Next:

    ‘It’s still the economy, stupid’

    NewsMark Wingfield

    More Articles

    • All
    • News
    • Opinion
    • Curated
    • Sadly, I agree that a complementarian seminary shouldn’t offer women degrees in pastoral theology

      OpinionAnna Sieges

    • Baptists in Ukraine continue their humanitarian work amid devastation

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Intolerable cruelty is killing us

      OpinionKris Aaron

    • Louisville police training quoted Bible verse to say officers are God’s agents of wrath

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Another racist mass shooting and our failure to tend Jesus’ sheep

      OpinionEmily Holladay

    • Becoming UNSTOPPABLE Christians

      Paid Promoted Content

    • Transitions for the week of 5-20-22

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • Learning about change from Henry Ford

      OpinionBob Newell

    • ‘It’s still the economy, stupid’

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Hymn stories: ‘Christ is alive! Let Christians sing’

      OpinionBeverly A. Howard

    • Pennsylvania Baptist church licenses transgender man for ministry

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Gifts of hospitality in the midst of grief

      OpinionSara Robb-Scott

    • Bubba-Doo’s gets a new sign

      OpinionCharles Qualls

    • Buffalo massacre is more evidence of white Christian nationalism, sociologists say

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Why American democracy is threatened in Ukraine

      AnalysisRodney Kennedy

    • Displaced by the war in Ukraine, some African students battle to continue their education in Germany

      NewsAnthony Akaeze

    • Conservative or liberal? Jesus widens our political landscape

      OpinionRussell Waldrop

    • Does the Johnson Amendment have any teeth left?

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Letter to the Editor: A response to Laura Ellis on abortion and Christian Realism

      OpinionLetters to the Editor

    • The Beloved Community and the heresy of white replacement: How ‘Beyoncé Mass’ gave me hope after the Buffalo massacre

      OpinionRobert P. Jones

    • Ministry jobs and more

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • Roe v. Wade, the great divider

      AnalysisErich Bridges

    • The Holy Spirit: An advocate, comforter and encourager for times like these

      OpinionBarry Howard

    • Brian Dawkins says he’s blessed

      NewsMaina Mwaura

    • The air of gathered worship: A 12-Sunday challenge

      OpinionPaul R. Gilliam III

    • Baptists in Ukraine continue their humanitarian work amid devastation

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Louisville police training quoted Bible verse to say officers are God’s agents of wrath

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Transitions for the week of 5-20-22

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • ‘It’s still the economy, stupid’

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Pennsylvania Baptist church licenses transgender man for ministry

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Buffalo massacre is more evidence of white Christian nationalism, sociologists say

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Displaced by the war in Ukraine, some African students battle to continue their education in Germany

      NewsAnthony Akaeze

    • Does the Johnson Amendment have any teeth left?

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Ministry jobs and more

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • Brian Dawkins says he’s blessed

      NewsMaina Mwaura

    • Bailey and Perrin named Vestal Scholars

      NewsBNG staff

    • Professor writes book to explain his journey from inerrantist to historicist

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • SBC presidential candidate wants ERLC leader fired for joining 75 other pro-life leaders in urging compassion for women who have abortions

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • $100 million gift to Samford is state’s largest to higher education

      NewsBNG staff

    • No formal name change proposed for SBC, and entities report back on use of NDAs in annual Book of Reports

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Accountability to God increases sense of well-being, study finds

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Campbellsville University custodian receives degree after stopping education in the 1990s

      NewsLinda Waggener

    • Progressives need to stop letting Christian nationalists set the agenda, author asserts

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • In reelection year, Texas governor proposes statewide voucher program for private schools

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • There’s a path for Ukrainian refugees to the U.S. but the process remains too slow

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • After days of unrest sparked by religious clashes, Ethiopians are beginning to get back to normal life

      NewsAnthony Akaeze

    • Ministry jobs and more

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • First review of SBC sexual abuse report begins today

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • In Charlottesville, an effort to reuse bronze from Lee statue for new public art

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • United Methodist Church split draws celebration, lament and soul-searching

      NewsCynthia Astle

    • Sadly, I agree that a complementarian seminary shouldn’t offer women degrees in pastoral theology

      OpinionAnna Sieges

    • Intolerable cruelty is killing us

      OpinionKris Aaron

    • Another racist mass shooting and our failure to tend Jesus’ sheep

      OpinionEmily Holladay

    • Learning about change from Henry Ford

      OpinionBob Newell

    • Hymn stories: ‘Christ is alive! Let Christians sing’

      OpinionBeverly A. Howard

    • Gifts of hospitality in the midst of grief

      OpinionSara Robb-Scott

    • Bubba-Doo’s gets a new sign

      OpinionCharles Qualls

    • Conservative or liberal? Jesus widens our political landscape

      OpinionRussell Waldrop

    • Letter to the Editor: A response to Laura Ellis on abortion and Christian Realism

      OpinionLetters to the Editor

    • The Beloved Community and the heresy of white replacement: How ‘Beyoncé Mass’ gave me hope after the Buffalo massacre

      OpinionRobert P. Jones

    • The Holy Spirit: An advocate, comforter and encourager for times like these

      OpinionBarry Howard

    • The air of gathered worship: A 12-Sunday challenge

      OpinionPaul R. Gilliam III

    • Choose Life: Putin reminds us how bad theology can turn nuclear

      OpinionJillian Mason Shannon

    • I’m disappointed with the world but still wanting to hope

      OpinionRuss Dean

    • Racism from the perspective of a white man

      OpinionTerry Austin

    • ‘The Religion of the Lost Cause’ is back, and it may be winning

      OpinionBill Leonard, Senior Columnist

    • What is a Baptist?

      OpinionH. Stephen Shoemaker

    • Assessing the damage Twitter has done to American Christianity

      OpinionMark Wingfield

    • In our dystopian world, I’m leaning into the Korean concept of han

      OpinionSusan M. Shaw, Senior Columnist

    • Letter to the Editor: Wingfield is wrong on ‘performative Christianity’

      OpinionLetters to the Editor

    • Do or donut; there is no try

      OpinionBrett Younger

    • Will we be silent as stones or voices of light?

      OpinionPhawnda Moore

    • It is a lie

      OpinionDwight A. Moody

    • A brief history of the Hateful Faithful threat to democracy through the Supreme Court

      OpinionWendell Griffen

    • Gov. DeSantis should learn a lesson from Southern Baptists about taking on Disney

      OpinionRodney Kennedy

    • Don’t buy Alito’s assurances: here’s what happens next after Roe falls

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Leading Psychologist Bridges Trauma Healing and the Black Church

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • For some people, religious leaders might be most effective at communicating the importance of COVID-19 vaccination

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Former pastor in 2 states pleads guilty to child sex charges

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • A rabbi who ‘speaks to Christians’ condemned them on Twitter. It cost him his job.

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Deadly explosion damages historic church, Baptist offices in Cuba

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Faith on the ground in Buffalo: Voice Buffalo executive director Denise Walden

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • What Is Antisemitism? Evangelicals Favor Different Definitions

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Russian Religious Communities Opposed To Ukraine War Face Pressure And Censorship

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Pope’s recipe to heal his painful knee? A shot of tequila

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Why Not All Pro-Lifers are Celebrating

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Montana pastor J.D. Hall, Pulpit&Pen founder, charged with DUI, carrying weapon

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Grove City board accepts full CRT report, says college promoted CRT

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • What you need to know about the antisemitic ideology behind the Buffalo shooting

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • What is ‘personhood’? The ethics question that needs a closer look in abortion debates

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Interfaith group asks Starbucks to drop vegan milk surcharge

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Cuba hotel explosion badly damaged major Baptist church

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Op-Ed: Conservative Christians will regret overturning Roe. They’re sacrificing religious liberty to do it

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • The Global COVID-19 Summit left children off its agenda. The church should not.

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Deconstructing? There’s a coach for that.

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • No more murder charge for women in Louisiana abortion bill

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Vatican Expresses ‘Concern’ Over Cardinal Zen Arrest For Ties To Pro-Democracy Fund

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Study: Girls raised by Jewish parents outperform Christian girls academically

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Hong Kong police bail Catholic cardinal arrested on national security charge

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Report: Christians May Have Helped Run Half of Native American Boarding Schools

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    Conversations that Matter.

    © 2022 Baptist News Global. All rights reserved.

    Want to share a story? We hope you will! Read our republishing, terms of use and privacy policies here.

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • LinkedIn
    • RSS