“You’re the one who farted in your own elevator, so you’ve gotta smell it,” said Mark Driscoll in a video reacting to a 40-second clip of Joanna and Chip Gaines’ new show, Back to the Frontier.
The show aims to challenge families to “leave the 21st century behind to live as 1800s pioneers,” requiring them to turn in all technology, makeup and jewelry in exchange for life on a homestead (old-timey clothing included). And although the show was just released, it already has brought heat onto the Waco celebrity couple for including a family with gay dads.
The Gaineses historically have pushed against politically isolating labels, although much of their fanbase consists of conservative-leaning viewers. The couple said in a 2022 interview with Variety, “We want people to not think of us as right-wing or left-wing or moderates … and just look at us as human beings that are looking out for the betterment of other human beings.”
However, the couple is open about their family’s identity as Christians. They attend Antioch Community Church in Waco, Texas, which holds a clear anti-LGBTQ stance. And the couple has been under fire for the same-sex marriage issue before.
They were criticized in 2016 for not including gay couples on their popular show Fixer Upper, to which Chip responded with a New Years blogpost saying the couple pledged to be “bridge builders” who “help initiate conversations between people that don’t think alike” amid the polarized and hateful U.S. political landscape.
He also posted a tweet, which says, “In times of trouble … you’ll find the Gaines family at church,” seemingly referencing the criticism he faced on both sides, for neither including a same-sex couple on the show nor openly denouncing same-sex marriage.
Following Driscoll’s recent criticism, Gaines quote-tweeted the nearly decade-old post, adding the caption “On our way to church. … Y’all enjoy this beautiful Sunday!”
Despite its ambiguity, which leaves readers unsure of the Gaines’ exact stance on same-sex marriage, the tweet quickly attracted the attention of anti-LGBTQ evangelicals who doubled-down on the backlash.
Seth Gruber, for instance, responded within 3 minutes of Gaines’ post: “Praying your pastor has the testicular fortitude to tell you and @joannagaines to repent of celebrating gay sex and motherless children.”
Appeals to masculinity like this seemed to be a big theme, especially for those reaching out to Chip.
But why are evangelicals on the internet so pressed about the inclusion of a same-sex couple on a TV show?
Jason and Joe Hanna-Riggs with their twin 10-year-old sons, Ethan and Lucas (Photos: HBO MAX)
Betraying the fanbase
According to Driscoll’s 5-minute long response, it’s because inclusion is an act of disloyalty to the Gaines’ conservative Christian fanbase. What they should be doing, says Driscoll, is appealing to the desires and comforts of their viewers, who must feel “betrayed” to have to watch a gay couple exist on their TV screens for portions of the new show.
“For the Gaineses to deviate from that is to betray their entire core audience. It’s also remarkably tone deaf. We just had an election, I don’t know if you guys saw that. It seemed like a resounding national referendum to stop this spread of trying to sexualize children and normalize perverse behavior.”
So according to Driscoll’s commentary, the Gaineses are committing a sin against their fanbase, as well as American politics.
Apparently, it’s an anti-Christian act to deviate from the results of a presidential election.
You know, the norm set by the same politicians who accuse gay couples free of criminal records of “sexualizing children” they’ve adopted and parent. Then turn around and cheat on their wives, pay for under-the-table abortions when their mistresses get pregnant, then criminalize regular-class citizens for needing reproductive health care. Certainly, these political norms ought to set the theological standard.
But wait, wasn’t Jesus executed by the Roman government for deviating from the political norm? The one that promoted injustice and harmed the marginalized while uplifting corrupt leaders and using violence to intimidate citizens?
I thought we respected him for pushing against the status quo.
“This is a betrayal of Christ and your core base,” Driscoll said in the video, explaining that the Gaineses should not be surprised if they lose followers over this choice. “You’re the one who farted in your own elevator, so you’ve gotta smell it.”
Continuing this discussion, he emphasized how disrespectful he thought it was to be inclusive when they have evangelical Christianity to thank for their rise to fame.
“When you’re no longer loyal to their God or them, they have no obligation to be loyal to you. And once you claim Christ, you need to know that when you’re saying and doing things that are anti-Christ, it’s not just people that are frustrated with you. It’s God who opposes you,” Driscoll declared.
Perhaps most noticeable about the commentary is the fact that Driscoll is mostly concerned about the family’s image as conservative Christians, and how their fanbase is postured to respond to a decision like this. He does not offer biblical or theological reasons why a Christian might not support gay marriage, but rebukes what he understands to be the cultural “sin” of disloyalty to mainstream Christian ideals.
In turn, he argues disdain from fans who are upset is a God-ordained consequence for acting in anti-Christ, or really anti-popular Christian culture, ways.
Muscular Christianity and ‘pussified’ men
But Driscoll has another reason to criticize Gaines — one that explains why he and other evangelicals are not being nearly as hostile toward Joanna as they are to Chip. Driscoll believes Chip is failing in his duties as a Christian man by supporting this gay couple.
“The family has a really important decision now, and so does Chip Gaines,” said Driscoll, addressing him directly.
“Chip, you’re a husband and a father. You’re a Christian and you’re a man. And you have a responsibility in the sight of God to lead with courage and authority and clarity. And if you fail to do so, you’re just another guy who failed, and failed miserably and publicly. That doesn’t make you a victim. That makes you a fool.”
For Driscoll, this is a masculinity issue.
“By failing to be complementarian, Driscoll believes, Chip Gaines is failing to be a real man.”
Perhaps underlying his concern for their public Christian image, Driscoll is criticizing the family for not adhering to complementarianism, which emphasizes a heteronormative hierarchy of authority and power in the marriage and family. By failing to be complementarian, Driscoll believes, Chip Gaines is failing to be a real man.
And if you know anything about Mark Driscoll’s career, you know this fascination with hypermasculinity is nothing new. Throughout his career as a pastor, he’s been obsessed with what he calls “pussified” men.
Yes, he coined the term. Although he doesn’t use it much anymore.
“Pussified” men, according to Driscoll, are biological males who act in feminine ways, rendering them women from a social and hierarchical standpoint. Examples include, but are not limited to, allowing their wives to have authority in the home, getting in tune with their feelings and supporting same-sex marriage.
This is a classic example of “muscular Christianity,” which promotes a hypermasculine persona for Christian men. Muscular Christian men ought to be strong, authoritative and unwilling to bend to “weak” things (like women, feelings or homosexuality). Men who deviate from this hypermasculine standard are not considered “good Christian men.”
And in classic gender-role fashion, women are expected to be submissive to their “muscular” husbands, fathers and pastors who lead them in every area of life. For Driscoll, the sexual component of this submission in marriages is especially important, hence why he is so disgusted by the thought of a gay couple existing.
‘The things we do to women’
If you remember “The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill” podcast, published by Christianity Today in 2021, Driscoll’s toxic teachings about masculinity and sexuality were examined by narrator Mike Cosper. One episode, “The Things We Do to Women,” dove deep into these gendered teachings.
When he was pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, the podcast explains, Driscoll taught violent portrayals of marital sexuality that convinced women to be sexually submissive to manipulation and abuse. This left many of them traumatized in the process of “affirming” their husbands’ so-called “Christian masculinity.”
And Driscoll bragged about this in sermons.
In one instance the podcast examines, Driscoll told his congregation about a woman who sought advice on how to get her husband to church on Sundays. He told her to give her husband oral sex, which she always had refused because she felt uncomfortable doing it.
But Driscoll insisted that she do this sexual act for the sake of getting her husband in a pew.
And this is just one example of many.
In fact, Driscoll often sexualized his own wife in front of the congregation, encouraging women in his congregation to strip for their husbands to keep them from cheating or fawn over the idea of receiving sexual gratification. All while yelling and screaming at the men in his congregation that they must be strong, authoritative and masculine if they want to lead their families in a Christian life.
“Sexual gratification was a necessity for men and a duty for women.”
Honestly, some of his sermons are so aggressively delivered that they’re scary.
And he never taught about consent. Sexual gratification was a necessity for men and a duty for women.
But in plain terms, to avoid men in his church being “pussified,” he taught a sex-obsessed ideology that justified the abuse of women for the sake of ensuring their husbands felt powerful enough to be aggressively authoritative.
Gratification
And of course, this prohibits “muscular” Christian men from being gay. Men who are both givers and takers have no place in this sexual framework, especially when their partners are not women, because sexual gratification is a feminine responsibility.
Which is how we get to Driscoll’s commentary on Chip Gaines being “another guy who … failed miserably and publicly” for including a gay couple on his show. Although he doesn’t use this word in the video, Gaines likely meets Driscoll’s definition of a “pussified” man.
However, the disdain from Driscoll and other complementarians for LGBTQ folks is nothing new.
A quick look through Driscoll’s X posts shows how much gratification he received during Pride month by posting anti-LGBTQ memes, such as one that includes an image of humans burning up in flames with the caption “How God Celebrates Pride.”
I’m not too sure our God celebrates the suffering of anyone, but apparently Driscoll is pleased at the idea — if the sufferers are gay.
He also reposted an affirming tweet by the official Sesame Street account, adding the caption “Sesame Street is located in Downtown Sodom.” Although a quick cross-reference to Ezekiel 16:49-50 reveals the sin of Sodom to be a failure to aid the poor and for being arrogant and refusing to share their resources with those in need.
Nonetheless, I guess Sesame Street has been “pussified,” too.
And I’m not a man, but I think most people who exist outside of complementarian circles would say “masculinity” is multifaceted. Sometimes, being gentle, kind and inclusive are the strongest things a man (or a person, in general) can do.
I wonder if Jesus — the gentle, loving and seemingly nonsexual person who cared little about what mainstream society thought — would be considered “pussified” by Driscoll’s definition. After all, he had no wife to sexually gratify him in support of his masculine leadership role.
Would Jesus care about seeming “pussified” to other religious folks? More or less than he would care about loving thy gay neighbor?
Most of the secure and confident men I know don’t seem too concerned. In fact, if a man needs to remind himself he’s a “real” man by yelling the loudest, being the most intimidating or demanding sexual gratification from his wife, it sounds like he might have some gender-based insecurities to work out.
But I suppose I’m just a woman with no strong husband to lead her. What do I know?
Mallory Challis is a summer staff writer for BNG. She is a master of divinity student at Wake Forest University School of Divinity and is a former BNG Clemons Fellow.
Related articles:
Evangelicals turning on Chip and Joanna is about disgust, not love | Analysis by Rodney Kennedy
What happened when Mark Driscoll and Josh Howerton showed up at the Stronger Men’s Conference this weekend | Analysis by Rick Pidcock