War is often measured in strategy, territory, and victory. But its deepest truth is measured in the tears of those left behind.
Tonight, somewhere in America, a doorbell rang and a family’s world changed forever.
Inside the home, life was unfolding in the ordinary ways families live their lives — a conversation in the kitchen, a television in the background, someone checking their phone, someone else moving through the house without any reason to believe the next moment would be different from the last.
Stuart C. Lord
Then the doorbell rang.
Outside stood two uniformed officers.
In that instant, everything changed. A family’s life was divided into before and after.
These are the tears of war.
And behind each knock on a door is a name. A life. A story.
In Auburn, Ala., Maj. John “Alex” Klinner leaves behind a wife and three young children — a 2-year-old and 7-month-old twins. Those who knew him say he was the kind of person who quietly stepped in whenever someone needed help. A family tribute described him as “a devoted husband, a loving father and someone who embodied what it means to be a servant leader.” His aunt wrote simply: “His name was Major Alex Klinner, and he mattered.”
In Covington, Wash., Capt. Ariana Savino was remembered by friends as someone whose presence changed a room the moment she walked into it. A mentor described her as “a future senior leader and a mentor to Latina youth.” Another friend said her smile was unforgettable: “She was one of those people who lit up every room she walked into.”
In Columbus, Ohio, Tech. Sgt. Tyler Simmons was known to family and friends for his “million-dollar smile.” His parents remember the moment uniformed officers arrived at their door to tell them their only child had been killed. He loved aviation and believed deeply in serving his country.
Tech. Sgt. Ashley Pruitt of Bardstown, Ky., trained other airmen in the demanding precision of midair refueling. Leaders in her unit said she helped prepare others for missions around the world. Kentucky’s governor called her and the others lost “heroes who sacrificed everything serving our country.”
Capt. Seth Koval of Mooresville, Ind., had dreamed of becoming a pilot since childhood. His wife described him as loving, generous and deeply devoted — “a fixer of all things” who always put others before himself.
Capt. Curtis Angst of Wilmington, Ohio, began his military career as a vehicle maintenance technician before earning his wings as a pilot. Those who served with him remember a man who worked his way forward through discipline and dedication, flying missions that carried fuel, cargo and lifesaving support across the world.
These six airmen were among 13 American service members who have now lost their lives in connection with the war with Iran.
Thirteen lives.
Thirteen families now learning the language of grief.
More than 100 American service members have been wounded in the same conflict — soldiers who now begin recoveries that may take months or years, and whose families will come to understand another side of the tears of war.
These are the tears of war.
Not the speeches in Washington. Not the briefings on television. Not the political arguments that inevitably follow.
The tears of war are found in empty chairs at kitchen tables.
In children asking when mom or dad is coming home.
In folded flags placed carefully into the hands of those who never wanted to receive them.
War often is discussed in the language of strategy, power and victory. But its deepest truth is measured differently. It is measured in names. In families. In the silence that follows.
Tonight, across the United States, 13 families carry a weight the rest of us can only try to understand.
So before we move on to the next headline, the next debate, the next political argument, we pause.
We pause to remember. We say their names:
- Sergeant Declan Cody
- Sergeant First Class Nicola Moore
- Sergeant First Class Noah Teachans
- Captain Cody Cork
- Major Jeffrey R. O’Brien
- Chief Warrant Officer 3 Robert Marzan
- Sergeant Benjamin Pennington
- Major John “Alex” Klinner
- Captain Ariana G. Savino
- Technical Sergeant Ashley B. Pruitt
- Captain Seth R. Koval
- Captain Curtis J. Angst
- Technical Sergeant Tyler H. Simmons
Thirteen names. Thirteen lives. Thirteen families whose lives were forever changed when a doorbell rang.
May their service never be reduced to numbers. May their sacrifice never be forgotten. May the tears of war remind us — always — of the sacred responsibility carried by those who lead a nation into conflict.
Stuart C. Lord is a leadership scholar and civic leader based in Boulder, Colo. He serves as executive director of the Boulder County Democratic Party and is founder of the Declaration of Respect, a framework promoting nonviolence and civil responsibility in policing.