Women are the problem?

Really? Women are the problem?

I read with incredulity and some humor the words of Nick Fuentes and Tucker Carlson as they pontificated in a recent interview about how women are the reason young people aren’t getting married.

Rick Pidcock wrote an analysis piece for BNG about it.

In case you haven’t read it yet, here are some highlights:

Fuentes: “Of course I think all women naturally want strong men. They naturally want a Chad. They want like a tall, buff guy. None of them want to work either.”

Fuentes: “A lot of men are looking at women and they’re very liberal, they’re overweight, they have a very high estimation of themselves. People call it ‘hoeflation.’ Their sense of their own looks and sexual value is very inflated.”

Carlson: “If you believe in the patriarchy, as I fervently do ’cause it’s just reality, you know. We didn’t choose the system. We were born into a system that is part of nature. Can’t get out of it. So if you believe that’s true, which it is, then you think men should lead.’”

Carlson: “I don’t know a single happily married woman who’s liberal. Not one. I know a lot of married women. I mean, I’m 56. All the women I know are married. And every happily married woman is non-liberal. I can’t even imagine. There’s no category for happily married, middle-aged liberal woman. There’s never been one.”

That line made me laugh out loud.

“What are these men afraid of? Are they just control freaks who want to have someone to dominate?”

Fuentes: “Guys will say, ‘I married my best friend.’ And I think, you know, she’s your wife. She’s not your best friend. ’Cause there’s a difference. I think when you talk about your best friend, you’re a peer, you’re an equal. And I think your best friendships are with other men. And I think your wife ultimately is subordinate to you.”

Where to begin?

First, I’m a happily married woman of almost 50 years who leans progressive. I don’t think I’m frumpy, obnoxious (well maybe sometimes), loudmouthed or promiscuous. I have a husband who, if you know him, you would agree is absolutely no push-over. But we have a true partnership, negotiated over these many years, because that’s what we have chosen and it works for us.

He is not afraid of my mind or my strong opinions. He has always helped with our three children and the household chores and never felt emasculated by it. He doesn’t seek to control me in any way, and I don’t seek to control him. We share ideas and have many long conversations about them. We are truly friends.

So what are these men afraid of? Are they just lazy because they don’t want to have to put in the work? Are they just control freaks who want to have someone to dominate?

Fuentes I can almost give a bit of grace to because he doesn’t have a wife and doesn’t really know any better. But Carlson has been married more than 30 years. He should know that no one knows what works best for any couple but the two in the relationship. No two marriages are alike.

And additionally, no two women are created the same. Some prefer to have a man to protect and take care of them. And that is fine if that’s what they choose. Others of us are more independent and want a partner in life.

“To make sweeping statements about women and marriage is ludicrous.”

So to make sweeping statements about women and marriage is ludicrous.

But let me go a little further and take this reasoning to its logical end.

According to statistics from 2023, there are roughly 168 million women in the United States, or a little more than 50% of the population. As of March 2025, 57.5% of the workforce was made up of women.

According to a 2024 article published by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, “Since entering the workforce, women have been overrepresented in service jobs that provide care for others, like nurses, teachers and secretaries. While more women are increasing representation across all sectors, they continue to be 10% more likely than men to serve in lower-paying jobs and are most likely to work in the education and health care industry.”

What would happen if more than 50% of the people who serve as housekeepers, nurses, teachers, secretaries or unskilled labor were removed, opting instead to stay at home and be taken care of? What would that do our communities, our society as a whole?

Certainly there wouldn’t be enough men to step in to fill those positions because they wouldn’t pay enough to support a stay-at-home wife and family.

“If you think all women are going to roll over and go back to some idealized version of the 1950s, you are sadly mistaken.”

So what are these guys thinking? Why do they insist the only place for a woman is barefoot and pregnant in the home and under their thumb with no rights of self-determination?

It took us a while and a lot of sacrifice, but we gained the right to vote in 1920 through the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. And although there are those who want to take it away, we gained the right to choose when and if we had a child when oral contraceptives were made available in the U.S. in 1960. We were even allowed to have credit cards and open our own bank accounts by 1974.

So I have news for those who think otherwise: That genie won’t be stuffed back into the bottle no matter how hard they try. If you think all women are going to roll over and go back to some idealized version of the 1950s, you are sadly mistaken.

Women are just people, like men. We want the same things men want — to be respected, to be loved for who we are and to have the ability to make choices for ourselves.

And if men can’t embrace that, then maybe men are the problem.

Lindsay Bergstrom serves as director of operations for Baptist News Global. She lives in Jacksonville, Fla.

 

Related article:

Women are the problem, Carlson and Fuentes declare | Analysis by Rick Pidcock