Baptist News Global
Sections
  • News
  • Analysis
  • Opinion
  • Curated
  • Storytelling
    • Faith & Justice >
      • Charleston: Metanoia with Bill Stanfield
      • Charlotte: QC Family Tree with Greg and Helms Jarrell
      • Little Rock: Judge Wendell Griffen
      • North Carolina: Conetoe
    • Welcoming the Stranger >
      • Lost Boys of Sudan: St. John’s Baptist Charlotte
      • Awakening to Immigrant Justice: Myers Park Baptist Church
      • Hospitality on the corner: Gaston Christian Center
    • Signature Ministries >
      • Jake Hall: Gospel Gothic, Music and Radio
    • Singing Our Faith >
      • Hymns for a Lifetime: Ken Wilson and Knollwood Baptist Church
      • Norfolk Street Choir
    • Resilient Rural America >
      • Alabama: Perry County
      • Texas: Hidalgo County
      • Arkansas Delta
      • Southeast Kentucky
  • More
    • Contact
    • About
    • Donate
    • Planned Giving
    • Letters to the Editor
    • Advertising
    • Ministry Jobs and More
    • Transitions
    • Subscribe
    • Submissions and Permissions
Donate Subscribe
Search Search this site

i’m not rob bell.

OpinionEric Minton  |  October 30, 2014

I had this somewhat obvious epiphany the other day.

I’m not, nor have I ever been, Rob Bell.

I know, I know, groundbreaking.

I’d probably give this one a “discovering you have enough change in your late model civic’s ashtray to pay the meter” on a scale of 0-to-St. Paul blinded by the mystical presence of the resurrected Jesus on the Damascus Road.

Or, maybe, like a soft 3.

But, regardless of the rather obviousness of the truth greeting me in the midst of a conversation with an old friend last week, I soon realized the power it had held over me for sometime now. Now, it isn’t that Rob and I look alike (he’s around 6 ft. 15 inches, and me, a cool 5′ 9.5”) or that we’ve shared similar career trajectories (he’s written a couple of bestsellers, been on TV regularly, and is currently on tour with Oprah speaking to thousands each week. And me? I had 40 people read something I wrote for free on the internet 2 weeks ago.)

However, we did go to the same grad school, have both been dressed down by the conservative Evangelical intelligentsia, and I still wear dark rimmed glasses. So, while not twins, we’re probably distant cousins, separated by years and years of success, renown, and monetary acclaim.

All of which fail to explain why I had apparently been living under the shadow of a man I don’t look like, have never met, and will never surf beside over a long weekend in Malibu for a reasonable $700.00, but then again cargo pants were the default setting for many of us in the mid-90s AND STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE UNANSWERED MYSTERIES HOLDING OUR UNIVERSE TOGETHER LIKE A GIANT-3-WOLF-MOON-BLANKET.

It’s amazing, how the unarticulated hair-caught-in-the-shower-drain of our collective psyches holds so much unacknowledged sway over our perceived self-worth, causing a quite unexpected rise in the water level during a typical shower before work. It was just a simple conversation with an old friend from grad school about where a few of us had ended up on the great occupational ladder comprising American professional Christianity.

Some had found work outside the world of getting paid to pray, getting coin to join, getting…I can keep going if you want.

Others hadn’t found work at all.

And still others were enjoying the successes accompanying placements at big churches with big budgets and big name pastors with even bigger internet followings.

And me?

I “order” pizza from Little Caesars professionally, and write things for free on a Baptist website.

(Insert John-Bender-freeze-frame-fist-pump-at-the-end-of-the-Breakfast-Club here.)

But, it wasn’t until the conversation shifted to my own apparent “failings” at creating a ravenous following of internet (and real life!) disciples lapping up my every (hastily edited) word about the divine, that my continued inability to become another human person named Rob Bell started flooding the bathtub of my emotional well-being,

spilling my fragile ego all over the bathroom tile:

“I guess I’m slowly coming to grips with the fact that I’ll never manage to become Rob Bell. Wow, I’ve never said that out loud before, and hearing it escape my mouth is mostly embarrassing, but, truthfully, it had been sitting in the back of my mind for a few years like a piece of corn from lunch. Occasionally, the human heart is an unfathomable mystery.”

In the closing moments of John’s Gospel, we happen upon an emotional scene unfolding between the resurrected Jesus and his disgraced disciple Peter (who, if you aren’t familiar with the story, denied knowing Jesus at all in order to save himself during the crucifixion).

Repeatedly, Jesus asks Peter:

“Do you love me?”

Yes.

“Do you love me?”

Of course.

“Do you love me?”

You know that I do.

“[Peter] when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go…Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God.”

This moment of gentle redemption, tenderness, and authentic humanity bubbling up between Jesus and Peter is abruptly interrupted when Peter, after hearing about the gruesome death awaiting him, notices “the disciple whom Jesus loved” following closely behind them,

leading him to wonder aloud:

“Lord, what about him?”

So, naturally, Jesus softly assuages his concerns:

“If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”

Oh Jesus, you always know what to say.

These days, the constant temptation awaiting me every time I open my computer and happen upon folks with larger audiences, better websites, more lucrative writing deals, and infinitely more Facebook mentions, is to disparage them to everyone within earshot in the name of my psychic health.

Which, inevitably as a Christian in America, “psychic health” quite often ends up going by the name “God” instead.

As in:

“You know why they’re enjoying success? They’ve caved to popular opinion, and the whims of ghost writers from major publishing houses. Jesus was crucified by the political authorities, and these jokers are all desperately fighting with each other to get invited to a prayer breakfast.”

“That dude’s a sellout, and a bully, and wears bedazzled Nashville jeans.”

“You read her book? Yeah me either, but the internet told me it was terrible, heretical, and also filled with embarrassing typos.”

“Man, people love a spectacle, and that’s all that dude is: dry-ice and lasers.”

From Driscoll to Furtick to Held Evans, and inevitably to Rob Bell, those of us on the underside of the American Christian Celebrity Industrial Complex have this uncanny ability to live for years resentfully toiling under the words, weight and media wattage of people who’s stories and words and recently uncovered anonymous message board outbursts were never intended to serve as our own.

We alter our accents, stifle our true identities, and even start posting weirdly pithy quotations where more human tweets once laid, all in an effort to be told that who we are, what we do, and what we have to say, matter deeply to someone.

And by “someone” I most certainly mean “hundreds of people we don’t know on the interwebs.”

“…what is that to you? You must follow me.”

The unexpected truth awaiting all of us (Peter included) at the end of John’s Gospel is that the “disciple whom Jesus loved,” despite apparently being the first Highlander, never managed to have his name recorded at all: no crude bathroom wall shoutouts, no retweets, no back page acknowledgments. Instead, the only thing left standing at the epilogue of a life well lived is love, grace, and a militant (if not somewhat smothering) solidarity to the way of Jesus

even in the face of the death of everything we think we deserve from the world.

So, whoever’s shadow you find yourself either resentfully toiling underneath or jealously attempting to undermine-because, you know, “THE GOSPEL AND GOD’S GLORY” or something along those tired lines-may you remember the unnamed disciple and his quest for a beautiful, liberating, and quite anonymous redemption. And in so doing, may you embody a God who, rather than narcissistically demanding allegiance and recognition from the world, died quietly in service to its redemption.

leaving only the surprising silence of an empty tomb in his wake.

 


OPINION: Views expressed in Baptist News Global columns and commentaries are solely those of the authors.
Tags:Cargo PantsCelebritySocial MediaSteven FurtickFacebookFaithful LivingRachel Held EvansJesusRob BellChristianityInspirationBloggingTwitterMark DriscollWholenessPublishingThe Gospel of John
More by
Eric Minton
  • Get BNG headlines in your inbox

  • Featured

    • The Black community needs allies who listen and act, scholar says

      News

    • When a Mexican cartel kidnapped a Baptist pastor, they got more than they bargained for

      News

    • Women of childbearing age are least likely to see strict abortion laws as best deterrent against abortion

      News

    • Progress on sexual abuse in the SBC? Not so fast

      Opinion


    Curated

    • Pope orders online release of WWII-era Pius XII Jewish files

      Pope orders online release of WWII-era Pius XII Jewish files

      June 24, 2022
    • Demolishing schools after a mass shooting reflects humans’ deep-rooted desire for purification rituals

      Demolishing schools after a mass shooting reflects humans’ deep-rooted desire for purification rituals

      June 24, 2022
    • Has American conservatism abandoned the Christian right?

      Has American conservatism abandoned the Christian right?

      June 24, 2022
    • In Colorado, a GOP rarity: An abortion rights candidate

      In Colorado, a GOP rarity: An abortion rights candidate

      June 24, 2022
    Read Next:

    Maybe seminaries should offer a class in mergers and acquisitions

    AnalysisMark Wingfield

    More Articles

    • All
    • News
    • Opinion
    • Curated
    • The French Dreyfus Affair and Trump’s Big Lie

      OpinionDavid Gushee, Senior Columnist

    • Women of childbearing age are least likely to see strict abortion laws as best deterrent against abortion

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Independence Day: Not to celebrate but to reflect

      OpinionKathy Manis Findley

    • U.S. State Department calls out Russia, China, Afghanistan, Myanmar for extreme religious freedom abuses

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Two viruses threaten the life of the Southern Baptist Convention: Male hierarchy and dominion theology

      AnalysisEllis Orozco

    • Progress on sexual abuse in the SBC? Not so fast

      OpinionDavid Clohessy and Christa Brown

    • Pranoto, Shaw, Smith and Younger join BNG board of directors

      NewsBNG staff

    • Uyghur American elected chairman of U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • When a Mexican cartel kidnapped a Baptist pastor, they got more than they bargained for

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • The Black community needs allies who listen and act, scholar says

      NewsPat Cole

    • Maybe seminaries should offer a class in mergers and acquisitions

      AnalysisMark Wingfield

    • Reflections on my mother’s funeral: The heart has reasons

      OpinionDavid Ramsey

    • Georgia Baptists hit snag on sale of 16-year-old headquarters property in suburban Atlanta

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • When ‘orthodoxy’ won’t hold: The SBC and the rest of us

      OpinionBill Leonard, Senior Columnist

    • At Faith and Freedom conference, evangelical Christian voters once again abandon their concern for marital fidelity

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Annual report on Baptist women in ministry finds some gains but serious losses due to COVID

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Seven suggestions for preventing conflict before it happens

      OpinionBill Wilson

    • Church-state separationists join Justice Sotomayor in blasting the Supreme Court’s ruling in a Maine school voucher case

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • The gospel according to mammals

      OpinionTyler Tankersley

    • Conservative clergywoman claims United Methodist system unjust

      NewsCynthia Astle

    • How God used Jay Bakker to teach me about race and loving all people

      OpinionMaina Mwaura

    • In Africa, inflation and a food crisis threaten not just the economy but people’s lives

      NewsAnthony Akaeze

    • When a teenager gets kicked to the curb by Christian parents

      OpinionDan McGee and Linda Francis Cross

    • American support for abortion rights at highest level since 1995, Gallup says

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Ministry jobs and more

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • Women of childbearing age are least likely to see strict abortion laws as best deterrent against abortion

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • U.S. State Department calls out Russia, China, Afghanistan, Myanmar for extreme religious freedom abuses

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Pranoto, Shaw, Smith and Younger join BNG board of directors

      NewsBNG staff

    • Uyghur American elected chairman of U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • When a Mexican cartel kidnapped a Baptist pastor, they got more than they bargained for

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • The Black community needs allies who listen and act, scholar says

      NewsPat Cole

    • Georgia Baptists hit snag on sale of 16-year-old headquarters property in suburban Atlanta

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • At Faith and Freedom conference, evangelical Christian voters once again abandon their concern for marital fidelity

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Annual report on Baptist women in ministry finds some gains but serious losses due to COVID

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Church-state separationists join Justice Sotomayor in blasting the Supreme Court’s ruling in a Maine school voucher case

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Conservative clergywoman claims United Methodist system unjust

      NewsCynthia Astle

    • In Africa, inflation and a food crisis threaten not just the economy but people’s lives

      NewsAnthony Akaeze

    • American support for abortion rights at highest level since 1995, Gallup says

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Ministry jobs and more

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • New platform of Texas GOP is laced with Christian privilege

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Author explores contradiction of evangelical support for prison ministry and tough-on-crime laws at same time

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • One year later, awareness of Juneteenth is growing

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Churches in Russian-occupied sections of Ukraine face desperate conditions

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Transitions for the week of 6-17-22

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • Many voices call for prosecution of mob who lynched and burned Christian student in Nigeria

      NewsAnthony Akaeze

    • Religious Liberty Council elects two BJC board members

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Still no external review of North American Mission Board finances

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Attempt to dismantle SBC Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission fails

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Brian Foreman named CBF’s coordinator of congregational ministries

      NewsBNG staff

    • Most Americans hang out with people who are a lot like them

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • The French Dreyfus Affair and Trump’s Big Lie

      OpinionDavid Gushee, Senior Columnist

    • Independence Day: Not to celebrate but to reflect

      OpinionKathy Manis Findley

    • Progress on sexual abuse in the SBC? Not so fast

      OpinionDavid Clohessy and Christa Brown

    • Reflections on my mother’s funeral: The heart has reasons

      OpinionDavid Ramsey

    • When ‘orthodoxy’ won’t hold: The SBC and the rest of us

      OpinionBill Leonard, Senior Columnist

    • Seven suggestions for preventing conflict before it happens

      OpinionBill Wilson

    • The gospel according to mammals

      OpinionTyler Tankersley

    • How God used Jay Bakker to teach me about race and loving all people

      OpinionMaina Mwaura

    • When a teenager gets kicked to the curb by Christian parents

      OpinionDan McGee and Linda Francis Cross

    • Unzipped: How (not) to commute

      OpinionEric Minton

    • When it comes to leading corporate prayer, are we really all in this together?

      OpinionMark Wingfield

    • Is America racist at heart?

      OpinionEugene G. Akins III

    • Note to self: Get rid of resting jerkface

      OpinionErich Bridges

    • Don’t keep sweet: Why white Christians need to celebrate Juneteenth

      OpinionErica Whitaker

    • Letter to the Editor: The importance of establishing best practices for pastoral searches

      OpinionLetters to the Editor

    • Hymn Stories: ‘Will You Come and Follow Me’

      OpinionBeverly A. Howard

    • A Bubba-Doo’s regular loses a loved one

      OpinionCharles Qualls

    • The oxymoron of being both anti-abortion and pro-gun

      OpinionEarl Chappell

    • My trip to the seamy world of horseracing

      OpinionBrett Younger

    • In the news this weekend: This is what it means to take God’s name in vain

      OpinionErin Albin Hill

    • Sympathy does not defeat white supremacy

      OpinionWendell Griffen

    • What Kenobi has taught me about God

      OpinionRob Lee

    • Is ‘fascism’ the right name for the Trumpist hard right in America?

      OpinionDavid Gushee, Senior Columnist

    • God in three persons, blessed Trinity

      OpinionBarry Howard

    • Bill Self in 1984: ‘Babylonian Captivity of the Convention’

      OpinionBill Self

    • Pope orders online release of WWII-era Pius XII Jewish files

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Demolishing schools after a mass shooting reflects humans’ deep-rooted desire for purification rituals

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Has American conservatism abandoned the Christian right?

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • In Colorado, a GOP rarity: An abortion rights candidate

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • A church was ordered to rescind its gay deacon. Now it weighs its next step.

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Can the Church Still Enact Justice When a Pastor Sues His Accusers?

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Republican Lauren Boebert jokes about AR-15s and Jesus — and yes, she’s a ‘real’ Christian

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • This World Refugee Day, rising white nationalism meets the largest refugee population in history — which is no coincidence

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • How evangelical Christians are sizing up the 2024 GOP race for president

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Abortion bill, confederate holiday removal signed by Edwards

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Buddhist leader in Bhutan fully ordains 144 women, resuming ancient tradition

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Banning Nancy Pelosi from Communion May Have Backfired

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • How Franklin Graham pushed a domestic abuse victim to return to her husband

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Poor People’s Campaign holds major DC rally to combat poverty

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • An Elite Christian College Has Become The Latest Battleground In America’s Culture Wars

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Wiccan celebration of summer solstice is a reminder that change, as expressed in nature, is inevitable

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Camino pilgrims help rural Spain’s emptying villages survive

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • What Antisemitism Looks Like When It Is Carved into Church

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Humanist chaplains guide nonreligious students on quest for meaning

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • On Juneteenth, Jewish communities are reckoning with their own attitudes on race

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • UK sanctions Russian Orthodox head; decries forced adoption

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • California again seeks to pass human composting bill as Catholic bishops oppose it

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Boise police can’t charge pastor who said LGBTQ people are ‘worthy of death’

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Ukrainian archbishop pushes against papal statements, says causes of war ‘lie within Russia itself’

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Bishop punishes school over Black Lives Matter, Pride flags

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    Conversations that Matter.

    © 2022 Baptist News Global. All rights reserved.

    Want to share a story? We hope you will! Read our republishing, terms of use and privacy policies here.

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • LinkedIn
    • RSS