On Aug. 1, liberals won a huge victory in the culture war.
Analysts at Cracker Barrel Old Country Store read studies that promised consumer attitudes about plant-based meats are becoming more affirming and posted: “Discover new meat frontiers. Experience the out of this world flavor of Impossible™ Sausage Made from Plants next time you Build Your Own Breakfast.”
If you thought fans of Cracker Barrel would be universally pleased to have another option on the menu, you would be wrong. They stopped playing on their giant cloth checkerboards long enough to react with absolute horror.
The Facebook post has received more than 19,000 comments, including:
- “We don’t eat in an old country store for woke burgers.”
- “Good Lord! I thought Cracker Barrel would have more sense!”
- “In 2020, you started serving booze. The descent into madness continues.”
- “You are on a slippery slope.”
- “Who do you think your customer base is? I still order the double meat breakfast and it’s not even on the menu anymore.”
- “Just another reason to avoid Cracker Barrel. You are making sausage from plants and seem proud of it. It is aptly named. ‘Impossible’.”
- “I used to love your store. Now, no way.”
- “I just lost respect for a once great Tennessee company.”
- “Won’t be eating hear (sic) anymore.”
- “Smh. This is Biden’s America. If we don’t get Trump back this country is in trouble. There shall be no hippie meat in trumps America!!!!!”
- “When we order the Impossible sausage, the terrorists win.”
- “Go ahead and change your name to California guacamole watering hole!!!”
- “You can take my pork sausage when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!”
The defenders of meatless sausage hurried to disagree:
- “I kind of hope all the folks freaking out get bitten by that tick that makes people allergic to meat.”
- “They’re not replacing your beloved meat, relax. You can keep chowing down towards heart disease as you wish.”
- “Why do the same people who get all mad about cancel culture try to cancel something they don’t like that has no effect on them?”
- “Weird how few people in this thread believe in capitalism. If nobody buys it, they take it off the menu and try something else. That’s how capitalism works.”
- “Wait til they take away the menus and make them use the qr code!”
Sarcastic people raced to join the discussion:
- “I twisted my ankle running to this comment section to see all the clogged artery rage over this.”
- “Thanks, Cracker Barrel, now my family won’t be able to dine there because the troves of hippy stoner vegetarian liberals will now be invading my favorite chain restaurant and pushing their immoral commie lifestyle on me and my children. I’ll be taking my hard-earned money to Waffle House or wherever we can smoke inside.”
- “I ordered the build your own breakfast with sausage patties, and my server ‘accidentally’ puts this Impossible Sausage on my plate instead, and didn’t think to tell me until I had eaten the whole thing!! Now I’ve been going around all day demanding universal health care and respecting people’s chosen pronouns!!”
- “The new menu items don’t bother me, but that peg game always says I’m a dummy. It should be banned.”
- “Speaking on behalf of all liberals, I can tell you that replacing the meat at Cracker Barrel was at least 20th on our list of ‘goals for achieving world domination.’”
- “This comment section is further proof we need to focus more on mental health in this country and get more people into therapy for anger issues.”
Unfortunately, Cracker Barrel’s public relations department has experience dealing with controversies — and most of them are not a laughing matter. In 1991, Cracker Barrel had a human resources policy that forbade hiring gay employees. Cracker Barrel rescinded the policy but called it a “well-intentioned over-reaction to the perceived values of our customers and their comfort levels with these individuals.”
In 2004, Cracker Barrel settled a series of racial discrimination lawsuits for $8.7 million. One comedian asked, “Would a Cracker Barrel in the 1950s be called a Cracker Only Barrel?”
In 2006, Cracker Barrel paid out $2 million to resolve a lawsuit brought by 51 former and current employees who were subjected to sexual harassment.
Sometimes the Old Country Store hits the bottom of the barrel.
“When we go to Cracker Barrel, most of us are not trying to make a political statement.”
When we go to Cracker Barrel, most of us are not trying to make a political statement. We enjoy the confusing but funky gift shop. The candy section still has Goo-Goo Clusters. The chicken ‘n’ dumplins taste like mom’s would have tasted if mom had made chicken ‘n’ dumplins.
They call it “comfort food” for a reason. It makes us feel comfortable. The latest silliness is not about sausage but fear of change.
Social media magnifies our foolishness, so we need to think about which wars are worth fighting. We should find a rocking chair on the porch and sit some battles out.
Brett Younger serves as senior minister of Plymouth Church in Brooklyn, N.Y.
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