“So, that’s awesome, man,” megachurch pastor Josh Howerton concluded in what he claimed was an apology to his congregation on Sunday. “Can we move on now? Y’all good with that? We’re gonna do that. That’s what we’re going to do. OK?” Then he clapped his hands and started his sermon.
His apology was in reference to the uproar that arose over him telling women to crown dishonorable men as their kings and to “stand where he tells you to stand, wear what he tells you to wear, and do what he tells you to do” on “his” wedding night.
Of course, many of us would love to move on. But men who tell jokes that dismiss women’s sexuality and safety, center the sexual fantasies of misogynists, and promote rape culture to tens of thousands of people from a position of spiritual authority don’t get to tell us when it’s time to move on.
It’s not “awesome man.” It’s spiritual abuse. And pastors with that lack of awareness shouldn’t be given that large a platform and that level of control over the narrative. For the sake of the women in his reach, it’s important for us not only to examine the comments he made in the first place, but also the coverup.
Dismissing feelings
One common claim Howerton and his defenders continue making is that his comments were taken out of context. So rather than jumping right into Sunday’s apology, we need to examine an earlier conversation he had with his wife, Jana, on Facebook Live because it sets the context for their overall theology about feelings and Scripture.
Josh and Jana Howerton on Facebook Live
This conversation was responding to criticism over when Howerton said in a sermon: “You cannot disrespect a man into respectability. Here’s how it works. Give him a crown and then he becomes a king.”
Howerton explains he was basing these comments on the command in Ephesians 5 for women to respect their husbands. He adds, “Your feelings do not matter.” All that matters is Scripture.
His wife agrees. “If you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, the one who yelps is the one who gets hit. So think about why is there a response to that. It’s because it hit a nerve, right? You got hit,” she explains. “Our pride is getting in the way and we need to surrender that to the lordship of Jesus. … Our feelings, our circumstances, our personal opinions, that does not change the truth of the word of God. That’s where we find our truth. It’s not about what we personally feel or think or how it makes us feel. … Go to Scriptures. Don’t go to your feelings.”
Using wounds to sacralize submission
After Josh and Jana each dismiss women paying attention to their feelings, Josh transitions into telling people how to process their wounds.
“I just want to acknowledge that man, some people have that reaction out of past pain. And it’s like, dude, you experience somebody weaponizing a Bible verse to get one over on you, or a man in your life did something to you,” he acknowledges. “But Satan is the one that wants to take an old wound and then manipulate it in your life to block you from the blessing of God’s word entering into your heart.”
Notice how he brands current hurt as an “old” wound. It’s the typical, “It happened a long time ago” response that many men use who cheat on their wives or who sexually abuse women and children.
Then he gives an illustration. “Satan in the Bible is called Beelzebub, which means ‘lord of the flies,’” he says. “What do flies do? They infest wounds so that they get infected and then a wound becomes mortal unto death. So dude, everyone, not just women, but everyone has to watch out that, man, a wound doesn’t become infected in my life and become a root of bitterness, the book of Hebrews, that starts to block me from receiving the word of God.”
Discussing a wound becoming “mortal unto death” is code for: “You might burn in hell for eternity over going to your feelings about this wound.” That plays into every evangelical adult’s deepest childhood fears, not only about the wounds they experienced in this life, but of their fears about the afterlife.
Warning about being blocked from “receiving the word of God” is code for: “You need to stand there and submit to what I’m preaching to you.”
Centering the pastor’s authority
With women’s feelings dismissed and their wounds feared, Josh addresses pastors in a way that centers his own authority over women.
“Continue to be bold,” he implores them. “What we must not do as pastors is rob women of the discipleship that they need in order to grow because we’re afraid of the reaction of bad and ungodly women. Because listen, good and godly women will honor you for it. They want it. They want it.”
Don’t miss the sexualized male language of “they want it.”
Again, remember the context is Josh telling women to crown dishonorable men as their kings and submit their bodies sexually to them. Here, he is branding that message as necessary discipleship. Thus, not to control your wife in that way sexually is to rob her. And his ultimate appeal is honor, the very motive he began with when he said the women should crown them.
“Howerton also demonizes women who disagree with his correction as being bad, ungodly fools and brands their submission to him as God’s blessing.”
Howerton also demonizes women who disagree with his correction as being bad, ungodly fools and brands their submission to him as God’s blessing.
“The book of Proverbs says that what wise people do is they love correction. So when correction comes to a heart of wisdom, a wise person goes, ‘Oh, what’s true about that? What could I take from that?’ And then what a foolish person does is come up with 10 reasons why that doesn’t apply to me. But if you start to do that, when you limit the amount of correction you’ll receive, you’re limiting the amount of blessing that God can bring into your life because of his commands.”
So Josh, as the pastor, receives the sacralized honor of unlimited access to correct women. But he also plays the part of the fool, according to Proverbs, when it comes to his response to correction.
The scope of pastoral power
Casey Christian, director of recovery at Lakepointe Church, claimed of his pastor’s earlier comments: “It was a joke, people.”
Casey Christian
But notice the context he gives to Josh’s “joke.” He says, “Instead of standing on the sidelines and throwing stones, why don’t you get out there and actually do something for the kingdom. It is both easy and safe to be a critic. I love my pastor Josh.”
In other words, he is piling shame on those who stand up to sacralized abuse by dismissing our spiritual contributions and promoting Josh’s numerical success.
That’s exactly how Josh opened his apology. When Josh took the stage, he began by pointing out their church had 40,000 people attend in person at Easter and had 2,000 salvation decisions in one week.
“Dude, listen man, that’s awakening stuff right there is what that is. That’s awakening stuff!” Then he points them to the text of his sermon and casually mentions, “While you are turning there, I need to address a thing.”
So Josh presents himself as the leader of a Great Awakening, then distracts his congregation with the task of leafing through their Bibles to find his sermon text while calling his coercive sexual joking “a thing.” And with that context, he’s supposedly ready to apologize.
‘I tossed out a joke’
With feelings dismissed, wounds feared, pastoral authority centered and dreams of the Great Awakening aroused, Howerton begins his apology.
“I tossed out a joke,” he says. “Emphasis word ‘joke.’ I tossed out a joke at the beginning of a message about men and women planning their wedding days and wedding nights. And it became a thing. So let me just talk about that real quick. … Somebody grabbed that clip of that joke, they clipped off the beginning of the joke. They clipped off the part of the joke to men, kept the part of the joke to women, and they clipped off the end of the joke before you could tell it was a joke and then presented it, Dallas Morning News hashtag, presented it as pastor Josh’s ‘advice’ to women.”
A Doug Wilson conspiracy about BNG
Picking up on Howerton’s “joke” defense and criticism of the media was Doug Wilson, an influential fundamentalist Reformed pastor from Moscow, Idaho.
Wilson linked to my original piece about Howerton. Then he called Baptist News Global a “soft woke thinkateria.” After mocking the quotes I shared from Sheila Gregoire and Jay Stringer, Wilson floated out a BNG conspiracy theory.
Doug Wilson
“Why might all this be happening just now?” he asked. “Why would a liberal Baptist website be interested in this? Why Salon? Why the Dallas Morning News? Why have they all teamed up to attack The Joke? Why do they want to make Josh Howerton the representative of a toxic evangelical patriarchy?”
Then he pointed to this summer’s Southern Baptist Convention in Indianapolis and the U.S. presidential election in November.
Regarding the SBC, Wilson said if BNG can help defeat the Law Amendment that would prohibit women being pastors in the SBC, then BNG could turn the SBC leftward.
Then referring to Howerton’s sexual coercion joke, “Clearly, if the Law Amendment passes, we are going to be dealing with a lot more jokes,” he added. Why? Because “women pastors wouldn’t tell those.”
Really? You think?
Beyond the SBC, Wilson’s conspiracy is also tied to Trump. He concludes, “If they can successfully tie Howerton’s joke to the Trump cause, this could have the effect of keeping three, maybe four, anti-Biden evangelicals from going to the polls.”
‘Frankly, I don’t care about them’
Back to the main story now, Josh Howerton’s “apology.” After Howerton warns people not to trust the internet and thanks those in his congregation who defended him online, he says, “I am not talking to anybody else out of our church. Frankly, I don’t care about them.”
That’s an interesting comment from a pastor who should theoretically care about those he thinks are dying and going to hell. But it’s consistent with his dismissal and belittlement of all those who won’t submit to his authority.
Instead, he focuses on “a few people in our church,” calling them “my sheep.” For these few, he says the joke “may have just landed on you wrong.”
Again, remember the context about how Howerton dismisses feelings. When considered in context, the blame here is really being placed on immature people who can’t take a sexually coercive joke because they’re engaging their “feelings” rather than submitting to Howerton’s interpretation of the Bible.
Careless or wise words
Because Howerton claims to derive his authority from the Bible, he quotes Proverbs 12:18, saying, “Careless words can stab like a sword, but that wise words lead to healing.”
Then he explains: “And what that means is that, man, sometimes even jokes can be a careless word. So that even if I’m like, dude, I’m just trying to goof off, I’m trying to have fun. Listen, I like to have fun around here. I want this to be a place where you can have a little fun. I like to do that. At the same time, dude, I never wanted to toss something out there that feels like a careless word. And what that verse means is that, like, even if somebody had a steak knife, and they like had the intent to cut their steak and their hand slipped and accidentally stabbed you in the face — that’s a joke by the way; I’m not going to stab you in the face — that man, I still need to own that. That can still fall on somebody wrong. So honestly, like, with a very sincere heart, I just want to say this. Dude, if that joke fell on you the wrong way, I need you to hear three things.”
“He’s framing the problem as how the joke falls on the person hearing it, who he also says should dismiss their feelings.”
Before hearing his three things, we should note again that he’s framing the problem as how the joke falls on the person hearing it, who he also says should dismiss their feelings. It does not amount to an apology for what he actually said and believes.
He concludes: “No. 1, I love you. Lakepointe Church, I love you more than you will ever imagine. I stay awake thinking about you. I pray for you every day. This is the honor of my life. I love you. And No. 2, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for something that felt like careless words. Actually, let me rephrase. I’m sorry for careless words. I’m sorry about that. And No. 3, thank you for your grace to me. I want to be doing this with you for decades and decades and decades.”
Of course he wants to be there for decades. What narcissist wouldn’t want to spend the rest of their lives having tens of thousands of people standing where he tells them to stand, wearing what he tells them to wear, and doing what he tells them to do?
Using Jesus to defend sexually coercive joking
If that was all Howerton said, it would have been bad enough. But during his sermon that followed his supposed apology, he couldn’t help himself.
Referring to Jesus asking Mary “Woman, why do you involve me?” Howerton joked, “Some of the husbands, you just realized you’ve been quoting Scripture for years and didn’t know it.”
Then he adds, “I’m going to take a risk here.” Describing Jesus using strong language including calling Gentiles “dogs,” Howerton observes, “Let’s see how that goes in 21st century America.”
And lest we think his commentary is disconnected from his apology, Howerton adds: “Keep this in light of everything I said earlier in the sermon. I just need to address this because there is a dynamic in our (culture) … . Even though Jesus used hyperbolic language, sometimes strong language, he also said, ‘Blessed is the one who’s not offended by me.’ So I just need to address this dynamic in our culture, and here’s this dynamic. … I don’t know if it’s because of social media or the internet, I don’t know what it is. But in our culture right now we have millions and millions of people who wake up every day and stand right on the edge of offense just waiting for somebody to say something that gives them the ability to be offended.”
Once again, the problem is with the women who don’t appreciate his sexually coercive joke, rather than with him making the joke.
He further explains: “If you haven’t noticed this, sometimes I joke around. … Have you ever been in a church before and it was just like really, really, really boring?”
Thus, the alternative in his mind to a church being boring would be sexually coercive joking from the pulpit. But that doesn’t mean he’s creative and funny. It means he lacks awareness and care for women, he lacks a real sense of humor, and he lacks any imagination for how to attract people who aren’t like him.
Ryan Gosling as Ken in the movie “Barbie.”
Howerton’s Mojo Dojo Casa House
One glaring feature of Howerton’s language is how often he uses the words “dude,” “man,” and “guys.” Many people who engage in public speaking struggle with the use of filler words such as “like” or “um.” That’s totally understandable. But in Howerton’s case, the language is always masculine, even when addressing women.
Amanda Cunningham, who volunteered at Lakepointe Church for 13 years and was friends with Howerton, suggested this may have to do with Howerton’s intended congregation. She posted on X in response to my observation: “He has said in a sermon that he writes every sermon to a beer-drinking, sports-watching suburban dad/husband.” In her view, this dynamic signals, “Apparently his pastoral office only needs to focus on his ‘ideal readers,’ and not an entire flock, because they hold the power and money.”
Howerton’s vision of church sounds a lot like Ken’s “Mojo Dojo Casa House” in the 2023 hit movie Barbie.
Cunningham explained: “Lakepointe slowly and systematically eliminated a healthy, thriving women’s ministry … over the last three years and launched tailgating every Saturday.”
“They stream ESPN on big screens before and after every service on Saturdays.” she described. “They removed one of the playgrounds for one of the TVs. Tailgating happens right in front of the building where recovery ministry meets and was sold as a way to pull people to Saturday and make room for new people on Sunday.”
When she sent Howerton an email asking how Lifepointe planned to care for the women who visited, she said, “He replied that cheap burgers and hotdogs were for the women to feed their kids before church.”
‘Wise words lead to healing’
If there is any seed of anything we should all be able to agree on, perhaps it’s the Proverb Howerton shared about how wise words lead to healing.
The depth and extent of misogyny and gaslighting in his sermons and videos are far beyond the scope any single article can explore. And unfortunately, it appears as though the people he calls “my sheep” are unwilling to hold him the least bit accountable.
So for the women at Lakepointe who silently read these posts, perhaps we could share some more helpful pastoral thoughts.
Your healing does not come from laughing at sexually coercive jokes, but by speaking out against them.
Your healing does not come from dismissing your feelings, but by feeling and flowing through them, perhaps with a therapist.
Your healing does not come by submitting to the men who use theology to sacralize their authority over you and their sexually coercive jokes, but by leaving them.
When you do, those of us out here, who Howerton admits he doesn’t care about, will be there to care for you in ways that aren’t coercive.
We know how to be funny without being abusive. And you don’t have to watch ESPN, feed your kids cheap burgers and hotdogs, or be shamed in our presence when you hang out with us because we’ve laid down our sword of careless words. And our careers don’t depend on your submission to us.
You have the authority to set the terms for when we move on. And you set those terms as you move through your healing.
Rick Pidcock is a 2004 graduate of Bob Jones University, with a bachelor of arts degree in Bible. He’s a freelance writer based in South Carolina and a former Clemons Fellow with BNG. He completed a master of arts degree in worship from Northern Seminary. He is a stay-at-home father of five children and produces music under the artist name Provoke Wonder. Follow his blog at www.rickpidcock.com.
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Pastor’s wedding night advice to women opens a conversation on harmful evangelical teaching on sex
Do conservative evangelicals enjoy better sex and marriage? A response to Josh Howerton | Analysis by Sheila Wray Gregoire
